Drink 9: The Don Draper Doppelgänger

The Name: The Don Draper Doppelgänger                                                                                

The Bar: Gossip (733 9th Avenue between 49th and 50th, NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: What I'm about to tell you happened. I don't know how it happened, but it happened. It shouldn't have happened, but it happened. I have no explanation for how this happened, but it happened.

This happened. This all happened. I don't know how.

So, one summer day, I was out for a walk. New York is a great city to walk in, and I found myself down near Bryant Park, where I stopped a bit to rest. I'm sitting on a bench, unassumingly listening to my ipod. But, after a while, I saw this woman who I guess would be in her 40's looking at me. She seemed normal enough-- she had short-cut curly brown hair and glasses. I returned her gaze and politely smiled. She walked up to me and uttered the four strangest words that I have ever heard.

"Are you Jon Hamm?"

I sat in stunned silence. I was sure I had misheard. There was no possible way she had said what I was pretty sure I'd just heard her say. She took advantage of this silence to add three more words. 

"From Mad Men."

Now, in case there are any people reading this who somehow don't know who Jon Hamm is, it's important that you know who he is. He is the actor best known for playing Don Draper on the hit show Mad Men. And he looks like this.

I, meanwhile, look like this.

Again, this is Jon Hamm.

And this is me.

Jon Hamm.

Me.

Here he is shirtless.

You're welcome.

Here's me.

You're still welcome.

And the above photos are not even him at his most suave. Here's him as the smooth and slick Don Draper.

Meanwhile, here's me looking suave.

I'm the one on the right. The one on the left is not Jon Hamm either.

While I could easily just fill the rest of this blog with pictures of Jon Hamm looking like Jon Hamm and me looking stupid, I think you get the point. That point being that I look ABSOLUTELY NOTHING LIKE JON HAMM. THERE IS NO CONCEIVABLE UNIVERSE WHERE I COULD BE JON HAMM. I LOOK NOTHING LIKE JON HAMM. NOTHING LIKE HIM. MOST PEOPLE DON'T LOOK LIKE JON HAMM, BUT I ESPECIALLY DON'T LOOK LIKE JON HAMM.

I cannot stress this enough. I really don't look like Jon Hamm.

So, I have no idea what this woman was thinking when she asked me if I was Jon Hamm. I was especially perplexed when she clarified by saying "From Mad Men," because if I were Jon Hamm, it's not like I wouldn't know that information. I responded to her with the only thing I could think to say.

"You think I'm Jon Hamm?"

At this point, she had spoken to me and could tell that not only was I clearly not Jon Hamm, but that I was approximately half Jon Hamm's age and with a decidedly less-chiseled jawline. By asking her this question, I was giving her an out-- a chance to say "Nevermind," and walk away. but she didn't do that. Instead, she responded with a statement as baffling as her previous words.

"Yes. Are you?"

I quickly tried to analyze this in my mind. It seemed like a strong possibility that this woman was making this up for some reason, but if she was, what was her endgame? Why was she pretending I looked like someone I wasn't? And specifically, why did she pick Jon Hamm? One of the celebrities that I probably look the least like. But while I had a strong feeling she might be messing with me, I wanted to see where she was going with this. So, I said.

"Yes."

She responded, "You look shorter in person," and walked away.

And that was it. That was the end of our conversation. And I never saw her again.

I have no idea what on earth happened. I don't know if this woman thought I was Jon Hamm or not. I do know that this conversation was probably as memorable for her as it was for me. As far as I'm concerned, there are two possibilities for what she later told all of her friends.

Possibility 1: I met Jon Hamm today. He was shorter in person.

Or, Possibility 2: Today, I met some asshole who told me he was Jon Hamm.

 But wait, why is Jon Hamm in this picture twice? And why does he look shorter one of those times?

In trying to come up with a name for this drink that would encompass this whole story, I settled on the Don Draper Doppelgänger because I like alliteration. And the word "doppelgänger."

Ordering The Drink: I was at Gossip, an Irish pub in Hell's Kitchen for a work outing, with my boss throwing a giant dinner for all of the employees. Now, this is always fun, but I think it's especially fun considering my job. I demonstrate toys. Specifically magic toys. Which means my official job title is, delightfully, Magic Toy Salesman. Which means that a work outing for me means drinking with a bunch of magicians, which I must admit, is a pretty great group to hang out with. It was a lot of fun, and I must say that the food at Gossip is really great. It's traditional Irish pub fair, and very well done. Score one for Gossip.

 

Me at work. Perhaps I will do a drink called The Magic Toy Salesman one day.

I went up to the bar and ordered a Don Draper Doppelgänger. The bartender was a lovely Irishman, who took very good care of our gang of magicians the whole night, and he was completely unfazed by the request. I asked if he had seen Mad Men and he said yes, and immediately set about making the drink. He ended up putting it together very quickly, and before I'd even taken a sip, excitedly asked me how it was, as he'd never made it before and wanted to make sure it was good. Let's see how it was...

Our bartender prepares the drink, while fellow Magic Toy Salesman Rashad talks to someone excitedly. I don't know if he knows there's a giant spider on his back.

The Drink:

The bartender kindly wrote the ingredients down on a napkin for me.

Tequila

Triple Sec

Grenadine

Pineapple Juice

Cranberry Juice

The Don Draper Doppelgänger, but well-lit this time.

 

Assessment of Drink: It's a good drink. I mean, look at those ingredients. They all work well together. Nothing seems out of place. Really, this drink tasted exactly as you would imagine it would.

But that's not a bad thing. I mean, these things are all great. And it was nice to have tequila again in one of these drinks, as it hasn't appeared since Drink #1. They're classic flavors, and they work well together. Absolutely nothing to complain about here. This is the type of drink I might even assemble myself if I was mixing something up at a party and had an assortment of alcohol and mixers.

Does It Live Up To The Name: This is where the drink falls apart a little bit. When I order these drinks, I try not to have any preconceived notions of what I'd be receiving. And for a lot of my drinks, I've had no idea what I'd possibly get.

But for this one, I had a pretty clear notion. And my notion was that there had to be whiskey. When I think of Don Draper, I think of him sipping scotch. When I think of Mad Men and alcohol, I immediately think of something like an Old Fashioned or a Manhattan. This drink almost makes itself. Just do your own spin on one of these drinks. Put something unexpected in them-- make a drink that looks like an old fashioned, but has something intriguing in it, like some interesting form of bitters...I'm not sure. There are lots of possibilities.

Me pondering the drink with my impression of Don Draper's "pondering alcohol face." It's a good impression, but really my natural similarity to Jon Hamm makes it easy for me to pull it off.

Now, I'm not saying that nothing else could work and that this drink absolutely had to have whiskey in it. But I did feel a bit disappointed when I was presented with a bright red drink that would be more appropriate for a beach than a 1960's advertising business. As pleasant as it was, the drink just has nothing to do with Don Draper-- a character who was made to have drinks created in homage to him. Was that the red color meant to imply the demonic nature of a doppelgänger? That's...a reason. I guess. I don't know. I really feel like this drink just doesn't live up to the name at all. And I get that it was made on the fly and that this experiment isn't an easy thing to do, so I'd ordinarily be fine if a drink didn't exactly live up to the name. But this seems like a name that a really great drink could be made for. I've had some drinks with much more difficult names which have been considerably more applicable.

But it was nonetheless a great tasting drink, and as I said, the bartender was really wonderful the entire evening. All in all, I'd definitely go to Gossip again. Although, I might just order an Old Fashioned. Better to do that and know what to expect rather than ordering a nonexistent drink and simply hoping it will be similar to an Old Fashioned. You avoid disappointment that way.

A bunch of magicians. And Jon Hamm.