Drink 51: The Closed Shutters

The Name: The Closed Shutters

The Bar: The King's Arms (168 Whiteladies Road, Bristol, UK)

The Story Behind The Name: In my last post, I mentioned that I'm currently in England for grad school. Well, I've been here for a month and it's been absolutely amazing. A main reason why it's been so amazing is the fellow people in my course. While of course, any class of grad school students is going to grow close, when you're going to grad school for acting, the bonds formed tend to be really strong really quickly. On our first day, my class had a team-building exercise which involved us rolling around on top of each other, and something tells me that doesn't happen in law school.

One of the projects that my grad school group is currently working on is a performance of a series of acted out fairy tales. One of those fairy tales is the story of Blue Beard. If you're not familiar with Blue Beard, it's the story of a wealthy man who has a blue beard which everyone thinks is very ugly and so no one wants to marry him. He also happens to have been married several times before and all of his wives died under mysterious circumstances...but really, the blue beard is generally accepted as the thing that made him an ineligible bachelor. One day, a woman does agree to marry him because he is really rich and seems like maybe not such a bad guy. He gives her a set of keys to every door in his house, but mentions that one unlocks a closet which she must never open under any circumstances. Surprise, surprise, she decides to open that closet and finds that it contains the bodies of Blue Beard's dead wives which he killed! Anyone who has never read a story before is shocked! Blue Beard finds out and is so angry he tries to kill this bride too even though it would have been so easy for him to just not give her that one key in the first place. Luckily the bride's two brothers conveniently show up and kill him. Disappointingly, the fact that he has a blue beard ends up being completely irrelevant to the story in every way.

Blue Beard fanart

As we set about staging this piece, our director wanted us to really explore the language and the various ways it could be staged. As an exercise, he had us read a specific passage together as a group multiple times. Then, we read it in smaller groups. Then we read it but not everyone read every line together. We basically all just got intensely familiar with this one speech. Here's the text of it, from right before the bride opens the closet door.

When she reached the closet door, she paused for quite a while, remembering her husband's words. But temptation was far too strong for her. She picked out the little key and opened the door. At first, she could make out nothing clearly at all, because the shutters were all closed. But after a few moments she saw that the floor was spattered with lumps of congealed blood, and upon it were the bodies of dead women, each sprawled or hanging there in her wedding gown. These were the brides that the Blue Beard had married and had slaughtered one after another. The key fell from her hand. She tried to calm herself. Picked up the key. Locked the door. Hurried up the stairs to her chamber to try to recover. But she was too frightened.

It's a creepy passage. But, you know how when you say a word over and over again, it starts to sound funny or weird? Well, when you say a passage like this over and over again, you start to notice strange details that didn't initially seem odd. And after at least half an hour and repeating this passage, everyone in our group began to question the line, "because the shutters were all closed." Because...how is that important? She couldn't see anything at all. Fine. Why do we need to know about the windows? Isn't the more important detail that THERE ARE DEAD BODIES AND BLOOD EVERYWHERE?!?! The passage is told from the bride's perspective. So that means that she opened the door and after her eyes got adjusted, she had time to notice that the windows were shuttered. Instead of focusing on...and I can't stress this enough...the corpses of her brand new husband's previous wives. That he murdered. And that he keeps in a closet that he told her to not go into or he would murder her. In a situation like this, why would anyone notice the windows? And why would anyone care? At no point would anyone in the audience be seriously asking, "Why couldn't she see anything? SURELY THERE WAS LIGHT COMING IN THROUGH THE WINDOW! Ah, I see, the shutters were closed. Thanks for that detail." It became a comedic line for us, and one of our very first shared jokes as a group.

Ordering The Drink: I figured it would only be right if my first drink for this blog in England (What's That Drink has gone global, you guys!!!) was inspired by a joke born in England. One night, a group of us went to a local pub right by our school called The King's Arms and I knew I had to see if I could get a drink called The Closed Shutters. Now, even though I try to be polite, my concern when I do this is always that the bartender will think I'm an asshole for making such a strange request. And, especially being overseas, I don't want to come across as an obnoxious American. But, luckily, one of the bartenders at The King's Arms is a great guy named Jyuddah who is also a student at my school. I figured he'd be up to the challenge, and this would mark the first time I'd actually ordered one of these drinks from someone I knew personally (not counting my friend Jane who made The Murdered Moose of her own accord).

Jyuddah seemed a bit confused about the request, but immediately assured me he'd do it. "If someone asks me to invent a drink for them, I'm gonna do it!" he said, and I told him he could absolutely take his time to figure out the perfect drink. I didn't feel like Jyuddah was judging me, but I can't say the same for the couple that was sitting next to me at the bar who clearly thought I was insane.

After a bit, Jyuddah came back and placed the drink in front of me. "I hope you enjoy it," he said. "This is the weirdest thing I've ever made."

The Drink:

The Closed Shutters

Disaronno
Fire Eater hot cinnamon whiskey
Absolut Vodka
Lemon
Orange Juice
Soda

Assessment of Drink: I took a sip at the bar and Jyuddah asked if I liked it. "Do you want to try it?" I asked him. He dipped a straw in the drink and tasted his creation. His face lit up. "That's sick!" he exclaimed. And I have to agree. This drink was absolutely fantastic.

Every one of my classmates who tried the drink said it was delicious. It was really interesting--and had a nice balance of spice and sweetness to it. The amaretto and the cinnamon whiskey played well together, and with the citrus notes, it was a drink that was impressively layered and complex. Perhaps the most surprising thing about it, to me, was how clearly the lemon came through. I would have thought that the orange juice would have been the dominant mixer, but really it was the lemon. One classmate of mine said it reminded her of a lemon drop candy but in cocktail form, and that's a very accurate description. Especially because of the carbonation from the last minute splash of soda. It's a sophisticated drink, and one which was pleasantly unexpected. You'd think you understood the drink, but then you'd notice the spice from the cinnamon, or then you'd notice the hint of the amaretto, which meant you could appreciate the drink more as you kept drinking.

Does It Live Up To The Name: I mentioned before that there was a couple at the bar which clearly thought my drink request was stupid. Their problem had less to do with the idea of getting a drink based on a name, and more to do with the exact name given. "Give him something to work with!" they insisted. And, I agree, The Closed Shutters is a tough one to do. I thought that perhaps any drink that one would have as a nightcap would have worked--something comforting and perhaps a bit warm. so, this version of the Closed Shutters didn't fit the thought I had in my head. Because I know him, I was able to ask Jyuddah, "What was your thought behind the drink?" He shrugged. "I just thought it needed to have a bit of a kick." And, sure, it did have a bit of a kick thanks to that cinnamon whiskey. When I picture sunlight coming in through closed shutters, I think about those stripes of light that you can get. In some ways, I think the layered flavors of this cocktail could represent those stripes of light--each one peeking in in surprising ways.

Is the drink a perfect representation of the name? Probably not. But as the couple at the bar said, this was a really tough name. And considering how good the drink turned out, I'm definitely not complaining. Thanks, Jyuddah, for bringing the closed shutters to life! I'm glad there were no lumps of congealed blood to be found.

Drink 50: Old Man Jenkins

The Name: Old Man Jenkins

The Bar: Dive 75 (101 West 75th st., NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: When I last wrote a blog post about my time as a summer camp counselor for a group of five year old boys, I mentioned that I had a lot of stories, and that they'd surely serve as the inspiration for future drinks. Well, the time has come once again to talk about my time as a camp counselor. One of the first things that I learned on the job was that an easy way to entertain little kids is to just outright lie to them. Kids have great imaginations, and so they're willing to go along with the downright ridiculous and make a game out of pretty much anything. And the story behind Old Man Jenkins is certainly indicative of that.

On the first day of training for the job, we were told that it's very important that all of the campers eat lunch. Little kids tend to be picky eaters, and will sometimes not want to eat lunch. The problem is that this means then they'll be hungry after camp (especially since they run around a lot at summer camp), and the camp certainly didn't want parents calling to complain that we weren't feeding their kids. Luckily, I figured out a solution. If there was a kid who'd eaten, say, half of their lunch, I'd look at them with mock horror. "Who ate half of your lunch?!?!" I'd exclaim. "I did!" they'd reply, and I would insist that this was impossible, because a little kid like them couldn't have possibly eaten SO MUCH. Instead, I theorized, there must be a Lunch Monster sneaking around eating the campers' lunches. The kids started all taking big bites of their food and showing me so that I would feign surprise and yell, "Oh no! The Lunch Monster must have struck again!!!!" They'd laugh and take another bite and the game would continue on and on. Occasionally, there'd be something more specific. Like, if lunch was pizza, there could be a Pizza Monster. And there were always bagels available to kids who didn't want the hot lunch option of the day, so they were the target of the Bagel Monster. But the tactic worked really well, until one day in my third and final year of being a camp counselor.

It started out normally, the kids were all eating their lunches, and showing me, and I'd pretend it was the lunch monster, and yada yada yada. But then, things took a surprising turn.

Camper: Miles! Look! Someone took a bite of my burger!
Me: Oh no! You know who did that, don't you?
Other Camper: Was it Old Man Jenkins?

I should point out that Old Man Jenkins was not a character who had been mentioned at camp before. I'd never heard of any Old Man Jenkins. I'd never said the words, "Old Man Jenkins" to the kids before. So, when this camper said, "Was it Old Man Jenkins?" I had no idea what he was talking about. In my head, I thought "Who on earth is Old Man Jenkins?" But to the kids, I said:

Me: Yes. Yes it was. How do YOU know about Old Man Jenkins?

The campers started asking me who Old Man Jenkins was and I told them that once they were all finished with lunch I'd tell them all about Old Man Jenkins. The kids probably finished their lunches more quickly than on any other day of camp. I sat the kids down and told them the story of Old Man Jenkins, who was essentially just a guy who lived near the camp and would steal things. The story basically consisted of me and the other counselors inventing times that Old Man Jenkins stole things. "One day, we went out to go swimming, and all the water had been stolen from the pool! We knew it had been Old Man Jenkins." Or, "One day, we went to play soccer, but all the soccer balls had been stolen by Old Man Jenkins! We had to play soccer with watermelons." The kids were fascinated.

I thought they'd move on, but the rest of the day was completely taken over by Old Man Jenkins. When we went to our next activity, the campers were uninterested by anything other than finding Old Man Jenkins. On the playground, instead of climbing on the monkey bars or going down the slides, they were walking around staring at the ground looking for "clues." It should be pointed out that at no point were they told to look for clues--they just started doing this of their own volition. But all of the counselors played along. The kids would run up to us with random things they'd found, and we would arbitrarily decide something was a clue or it wasn't.

Camper [holding a leaf]: Is this a clue?!?!
Me: Yes! This shade of green is Old Man Jenkins' absolute favorite color. He must have been carrying this leaf and dropped it. Which means he's close by.

Other Camper [holding an acorn]: Is this a clue?!?!

Me: No, that's just an acorn.

This ended up consuming most of the summer. We'd go to activities run by other people and the kids wouldn't stop looking for Old Man Jenkins. I remember the Volleyball instructor not quite understanding why these kids were not trying to hit the ball, and instead were staring at the ground picking up rocks and asking if they were clues. Me and the other counselors, seeing that they were so into this game, fueled their curiosity by leaving notes from Old Man Jenkins in the group's homeroom. They were always written in a sort of shaky handwriting, and would be signed with words that had the initials OMJ. So, they'd be signed with names like "Orange Monkey Juice," and all of the counselors would go, "What could that mean?!?!" until the campers would all yell, "IT'S OLD MAN JENKINS!!!!!!!" Sometimes, we'd even stick notes from Old Man Jenkins in the kids' backpacks for them to find at home and excitedly bring in the next day.

The only wrinkle that we really had in maintaining this illusion was when, after a while, some kids started to catch on that Old Man Jenkins might not be real. I, of course, insisted that he was, and told the kids that I could bring in a picture of Old Man Jenkins to prove it. They agreed, but first said I had to bring in more than one picture because for some reason this would be more convincing than just a single photo. The next day, I brought in several pictures of Grigori Rasputin and all the campers agreed that this proved he was real.

I'm hoping at least one kids comes across a picture of Rasputin in a history textbook in high school and just goes, "Oh no...it's Old Man Jenkins!"

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I wasn't able to be at the last week of camp, because I had to leave for college early, and it was decided that Old Man Jenkins would have to leave with me. We left the kids a note on my last day from Old Man Jenkins where he said that they had gotten too close to discovering him and he was going to flee to Kenyon College where they'd never find him. We left this note in the morning. I wore a Kenyon College shirt and a Kenyon College hat the entire day. It took hours before one of them finally made the connection, and I vowed to find him once I arrived. As far as the campers are concerned, when I arrived at college, I found this note:

Only Mumbo Jumbo...what could that mean?

And then my dad was kind enough to pose for a picture of me catching Old Man Jenkins.

Old Man Jenkins, who must have gotten a haircut.

And thus, Old Man Jenkins was caught, and this ridiculous game was brought to a close. I still don't know why this one camper mentioned Old Man Jenkins, although apparently he's a character on Spongebob Squarepants? But I couldn't find any mention of him stealing food, so who knows.

Ordering The Drink: A while ago, I went to Dive Bar, a neat nautical-themed bar, where I ordered a drink called The Dancing Moose. Well, the owner of the bar actually read my post and enjoyed it enough to send me a free Dive Bar t-shirt!

There's actually a second location to Dive Bar on 75th street, called Dive 75, and considering how nice and welcoming the owner had been, I decided I should try it out. I was having a bit of a party, and so me and a group of friends headed over to Dive 75, and I was determined to get a drink in Old Man Jenkins' honor. When I first went up to the bartender, I asked if she'd be willing to make me a drink inspired by a name and, before agreeing to it, she looked skeptical and asked, "What's the name?" Which is a reasonable question to be sure, and I was glad I wasn't asking for an especially complicated name like the last time I did this. But she seemed to find the name "Old Man Jenkins" acceptable, and set about inventing the cocktail once the name was revealed.

The Drink:

Old Man Jenkins

Dewar's

Lemon

Honey 

Assessment of Drink: As you can see from the recipe, this wasn't exactly a complicated drink. It was essentially just a slightly sweet scotch. If you've ever had Dewar's, you can probably imagine what it was like--just add honey and lemon. But even if it wasn't complicated, it was still good. Lemon and honey go well together, and both go well with scotch. For those who like scotch but don't exactly like drinking it straight, the lemon and honey really was a nice addition. It complimented the Dewar's well without drowning it out. It was easy to sip, and in not too long, I'd finished the whole thing (or...was it Old Man Jenkins...).

Does It Live Up To The Name: As she put the drink down, the bartender shrugged and said, "For some reason, when you said the name, I just thought of Dewar's." Which is perfectly fine by me. Indeed, the drink did have a bit of an older feel to it, so I was happy to accept it as a drink called Old Man Jenkins.

As I thought of it more, though, I could definitely think of some things that could have improved it. I found myself wishing there had been angostura bitters. Why? Because if there had been bitters, it would have been like an Old Fashioned, and that might have been a fun way to really play on the word, "Old" in the drink's name. Especially since there was already whiskey present, that could have really been a defining touch. And it also might have added another level of depth to what was already a perfectly good drink. So, with both taste and relation to the name, I'd definitely give the Old Man Jenkins at Dive 75 a passing grade, even if there was definitely more that could have been done. 

And so, that's the Old Man Jenkins, which is amazingly the 50th drink name that I've ordered for this blog. It's a great milestone, and I'd like to, as always, thank this blog's fans for their support. I certainly wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for people saying how much they enjoy these posts, and I'm so glad to share stories and cocktails with all of you. That being said, I do want to warn you all that there might be a slow spell for What's That Drink in the coming year (even though, let's be honest, I wasn't doing a great job of posting regularly anyway). The reason I was at Dive 75 for this drink was because I was having a bit of a going away party, because I recently moved to England for a year for grad school. I'm very excited, but I'll also have a lot less time and funds to actively go out and get drinks. And unless I find some really great and friendly cocktail bars, I don't want to be an obnoxious American who walks into a pub and goes, "MAKE ME AN IMAGINARY DRINK!" So, there might be a few posts here and there, but there might be some big breaks between them. That being said, if I know anyone who wants to come up with their own drink name and order one at a bar, then I'd certainly be willing to accept guest posts and put them on the blog. Just let me know!