Drink 50: Old Man Jenkins

The Name: Old Man Jenkins

The Bar: Dive 75 (101 West 75th st., NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: When I last wrote a blog post about my time as a summer camp counselor for a group of five year old boys, I mentioned that I had a lot of stories, and that they'd surely serve as the inspiration for future drinks. Well, the time has come once again to talk about my time as a camp counselor. One of the first things that I learned on the job was that an easy way to entertain little kids is to just outright lie to them. Kids have great imaginations, and so they're willing to go along with the downright ridiculous and make a game out of pretty much anything. And the story behind Old Man Jenkins is certainly indicative of that.

On the first day of training for the job, we were told that it's very important that all of the campers eat lunch. Little kids tend to be picky eaters, and will sometimes not want to eat lunch. The problem is that this means then they'll be hungry after camp (especially since they run around a lot at summer camp), and the camp certainly didn't want parents calling to complain that we weren't feeding their kids. Luckily, I figured out a solution. If there was a kid who'd eaten, say, half of their lunch, I'd look at them with mock horror. "Who ate half of your lunch?!?!" I'd exclaim. "I did!" they'd reply, and I would insist that this was impossible, because a little kid like them couldn't have possibly eaten SO MUCH. Instead, I theorized, there must be a Lunch Monster sneaking around eating the campers' lunches. The kids started all taking big bites of their food and showing me so that I would feign surprise and yell, "Oh no! The Lunch Monster must have struck again!!!!" They'd laugh and take another bite and the game would continue on and on. Occasionally, there'd be something more specific. Like, if lunch was pizza, there could be a Pizza Monster. And there were always bagels available to kids who didn't want the hot lunch option of the day, so they were the target of the Bagel Monster. But the tactic worked really well, until one day in my third and final year of being a camp counselor.

It started out normally, the kids were all eating their lunches, and showing me, and I'd pretend it was the lunch monster, and yada yada yada. But then, things took a surprising turn.

Camper: Miles! Look! Someone took a bite of my burger!
Me: Oh no! You know who did that, don't you?
Other Camper: Was it Old Man Jenkins?

I should point out that Old Man Jenkins was not a character who had been mentioned at camp before. I'd never heard of any Old Man Jenkins. I'd never said the words, "Old Man Jenkins" to the kids before. So, when this camper said, "Was it Old Man Jenkins?" I had no idea what he was talking about. In my head, I thought "Who on earth is Old Man Jenkins?" But to the kids, I said:

Me: Yes. Yes it was. How do YOU know about Old Man Jenkins?

The campers started asking me who Old Man Jenkins was and I told them that once they were all finished with lunch I'd tell them all about Old Man Jenkins. The kids probably finished their lunches more quickly than on any other day of camp. I sat the kids down and told them the story of Old Man Jenkins, who was essentially just a guy who lived near the camp and would steal things. The story basically consisted of me and the other counselors inventing times that Old Man Jenkins stole things. "One day, we went out to go swimming, and all the water had been stolen from the pool! We knew it had been Old Man Jenkins." Or, "One day, we went to play soccer, but all the soccer balls had been stolen by Old Man Jenkins! We had to play soccer with watermelons." The kids were fascinated.

I thought they'd move on, but the rest of the day was completely taken over by Old Man Jenkins. When we went to our next activity, the campers were uninterested by anything other than finding Old Man Jenkins. On the playground, instead of climbing on the monkey bars or going down the slides, they were walking around staring at the ground looking for "clues." It should be pointed out that at no point were they told to look for clues--they just started doing this of their own volition. But all of the counselors played along. The kids would run up to us with random things they'd found, and we would arbitrarily decide something was a clue or it wasn't.

Camper [holding a leaf]: Is this a clue?!?!
Me: Yes! This shade of green is Old Man Jenkins' absolute favorite color. He must have been carrying this leaf and dropped it. Which means he's close by.

Other Camper [holding an acorn]: Is this a clue?!?!

Me: No, that's just an acorn.

This ended up consuming most of the summer. We'd go to activities run by other people and the kids wouldn't stop looking for Old Man Jenkins. I remember the Volleyball instructor not quite understanding why these kids were not trying to hit the ball, and instead were staring at the ground picking up rocks and asking if they were clues. Me and the other counselors, seeing that they were so into this game, fueled their curiosity by leaving notes from Old Man Jenkins in the group's homeroom. They were always written in a sort of shaky handwriting, and would be signed with words that had the initials OMJ. So, they'd be signed with names like "Orange Monkey Juice," and all of the counselors would go, "What could that mean?!?!" until the campers would all yell, "IT'S OLD MAN JENKINS!!!!!!!" Sometimes, we'd even stick notes from Old Man Jenkins in the kids' backpacks for them to find at home and excitedly bring in the next day.

The only wrinkle that we really had in maintaining this illusion was when, after a while, some kids started to catch on that Old Man Jenkins might not be real. I, of course, insisted that he was, and told the kids that I could bring in a picture of Old Man Jenkins to prove it. They agreed, but first said I had to bring in more than one picture because for some reason this would be more convincing than just a single photo. The next day, I brought in several pictures of Grigori Rasputin and all the campers agreed that this proved he was real.

I'm hoping at least one kids comes across a picture of Rasputin in a history textbook in high school and just goes, "Oh no...it's Old Man Jenkins!"

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end. I wasn't able to be at the last week of camp, because I had to leave for college early, and it was decided that Old Man Jenkins would have to leave with me. We left the kids a note on my last day from Old Man Jenkins where he said that they had gotten too close to discovering him and he was going to flee to Kenyon College where they'd never find him. We left this note in the morning. I wore a Kenyon College shirt and a Kenyon College hat the entire day. It took hours before one of them finally made the connection, and I vowed to find him once I arrived. As far as the campers are concerned, when I arrived at college, I found this note:

Only Mumbo Jumbo...what could that mean?

And then my dad was kind enough to pose for a picture of me catching Old Man Jenkins.

Old Man Jenkins, who must have gotten a haircut.

And thus, Old Man Jenkins was caught, and this ridiculous game was brought to a close. I still don't know why this one camper mentioned Old Man Jenkins, although apparently he's a character on Spongebob Squarepants? But I couldn't find any mention of him stealing food, so who knows.

Ordering The Drink: A while ago, I went to Dive Bar, a neat nautical-themed bar, where I ordered a drink called The Dancing Moose. Well, the owner of the bar actually read my post and enjoyed it enough to send me a free Dive Bar t-shirt!

There's actually a second location to Dive Bar on 75th street, called Dive 75, and considering how nice and welcoming the owner had been, I decided I should try it out. I was having a bit of a party, and so me and a group of friends headed over to Dive 75, and I was determined to get a drink in Old Man Jenkins' honor. When I first went up to the bartender, I asked if she'd be willing to make me a drink inspired by a name and, before agreeing to it, she looked skeptical and asked, "What's the name?" Which is a reasonable question to be sure, and I was glad I wasn't asking for an especially complicated name like the last time I did this. But she seemed to find the name "Old Man Jenkins" acceptable, and set about inventing the cocktail once the name was revealed.

The Drink:

Old Man Jenkins

Dewar's

Lemon

Honey 

Assessment of Drink: As you can see from the recipe, this wasn't exactly a complicated drink. It was essentially just a slightly sweet scotch. If you've ever had Dewar's, you can probably imagine what it was like--just add honey and lemon. But even if it wasn't complicated, it was still good. Lemon and honey go well together, and both go well with scotch. For those who like scotch but don't exactly like drinking it straight, the lemon and honey really was a nice addition. It complimented the Dewar's well without drowning it out. It was easy to sip, and in not too long, I'd finished the whole thing (or...was it Old Man Jenkins...).

Does It Live Up To The Name: As she put the drink down, the bartender shrugged and said, "For some reason, when you said the name, I just thought of Dewar's." Which is perfectly fine by me. Indeed, the drink did have a bit of an older feel to it, so I was happy to accept it as a drink called Old Man Jenkins.

As I thought of it more, though, I could definitely think of some things that could have improved it. I found myself wishing there had been angostura bitters. Why? Because if there had been bitters, it would have been like an Old Fashioned, and that might have been a fun way to really play on the word, "Old" in the drink's name. Especially since there was already whiskey present, that could have really been a defining touch. And it also might have added another level of depth to what was already a perfectly good drink. So, with both taste and relation to the name, I'd definitely give the Old Man Jenkins at Dive 75 a passing grade, even if there was definitely more that could have been done. 

And so, that's the Old Man Jenkins, which is amazingly the 50th drink name that I've ordered for this blog. It's a great milestone, and I'd like to, as always, thank this blog's fans for their support. I certainly wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for people saying how much they enjoy these posts, and I'm so glad to share stories and cocktails with all of you. That being said, I do want to warn you all that there might be a slow spell for What's That Drink in the coming year (even though, let's be honest, I wasn't doing a great job of posting regularly anyway). The reason I was at Dive 75 for this drink was because I was having a bit of a going away party, because I recently moved to England for a year for grad school. I'm very excited, but I'll also have a lot less time and funds to actively go out and get drinks. And unless I find some really great and friendly cocktail bars, I don't want to be an obnoxious American who walks into a pub and goes, "MAKE ME AN IMAGINARY DRINK!" So, there might be a few posts here and there, but there might be some big breaks between them. That being said, if I know anyone who wants to come up with their own drink name and order one at a bar, then I'd certainly be willing to accept guest posts and put them on the blog. Just let me know!