Drink 16: The Dancing Moose

The Name: The Dancing Moose                                                                                 

The Bar: Dive Bar (Amsterdam Ave btwn. 95th and 96th street, NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: So, from the title of this post, I think a lot of people might be expecting a really funny story. Perhaps it's referencing a production of The Nutcracker that I saw at a zoo once. Perhaps it has something to do with the last moose-themed drink I ordered for this blog. Regardless, it's a funny name, and one would assume that a funny story would follow. But I doubt that anyone would have guessed the real story behind this name: it has to do with Lauren Bacall and a souvenir she purchased at a museum in Sweden. Allow me to explain.

While I think most of the people who read this blog probably know me personally, it seems as if there are actually some readers who have never met me (Hi, readers, I'm Miles! I hope you're enjoying the blog). So, I should give a little background as to who I am. I was a child actor (and am now an adult actor) and have been working professionally since I was five years old. Throughout my childhood, I've had the opportunity to work with some amazing people on some incredible projects. Undoubtedly, the highest-profile role of my child acting career was in the film Dogville. If you have not heard of this movie, then you are not alone. It's an obscure, depressing, three-hour long art film which takes place on a set with no walls. Here's a birds-eye view of the set.

The entire film takes place on this set. I repeat, it is three hours long.

 The film is not everyone's cup of tea, and it is very much a film that one either loves or hates, so while it definitely has its fans, it never gained too much popularity with American audiences. But while many have not heard of the film, they have definitely heard of many of the people involved. It is directed by the always controversial Lars von Trier, and features an incredible cast which I still can't believe I was a part of. It reads like a who's-who of bona fide movie stars and well-regarded character actors who you've seen in everything. And, of course, there is absolute screen legend Lauren Bacall.

I don't think anyone would be surprised to learn that Lauren Bacall had an amazing presence. You could feel her in a room.When she spoke, you could feel everyone in the room get a little bit quieter. It was, at times, a little bit terrifying to be in a room with her, and it was always incredible. She was simply regal. And, as a little twelve-year old boy, I often found myself completely unaware of what to say to her. Nonetheless, she was always very kind to me.

Lauren Bacall and Nicole Kidman in a stillshot from Dogville, with me lurking in the background.

However, she was not kind to everyone on the set. Lauren Bacall was a bit of a diva-- this shouldn't come as a surprise to anyone. Let's be honest, she deserved to be a bit demanding. When I think of Lauren Bacall, I immediately think of one of the drivers on the crew-- a lovely man named Shannon. One day, he drove Ms. Bacall from the hotel to the film set and, on the way, she decided she like him. From that day on, Shannon immediately because her personal assistant and none of us ever saw him again. Okay, that's exaggerating slightly, but not that much. Poor Shannon kind of disappeared and looked a bit more beleaguered than usual every time we saw him around. In general, Lauren Bacall knew that nobody would ever say no to her, so she could get away with anything. And, frankly, she had earned that right. And I think she found this dynamic hilarious and exploited it at every opportunity. Which brings us to the dancing moose.

Dogville was filmed in a little town called Trollhättan (literally meaning "Troll's Hat"), specifically at a film studio informally known as Trollywood, where a great number of Scandinavian films are made. It's a sweet town, but there isn't much to Trollhättan-- it's rather tiny and not exactly a bustling metropolis. One of the biggest attractions at the time was a nearby Moose Museum. Which is EXACTLY what it sounds like. It was a museum about moose. And while I hate resorting to cultural stereotypes, it is undoubtedly one of the most Swedish places to ever exist. If you think that Canadians are serious about moose, then you have never met a Swede.

My tutor, Lennart, and I at the moose museum.

Everyone involved in the film probably visited the moose museum at some point during the filming, if only because there was nothing else to do. And, when Lauren Bacall went to the museum (Shannon, of course, drove her there) she found a souvenir in the gift shop that she liked.

It was a moose stuffed animal. And when you pressed a button, it would dance and sing. Because it has been so many years, I have forgotten the song, but it was something upbeat and jaunty. In my mind, I think it might have been an Elvis Presley song, but for some reason, I'm also thinking it could have been "Jingle Bell Rock," even though it was February. I really can't say for sure. Here's an example of the type of toy I'm talking about, if you can't picture it, but it wasn't this one exactly. Although Lauren Bacall's moose definitely was also wearing sunglasses. Because dancing moose toys always come with sunglasses for some reason. I'm sorry I can't provide more details about the dancing moose, but the important thing is that Lauren Bacall bought one. And she carried it with her everywhere for a few days.

But she didn't just carry it around. She would play it. Constantly. People would come up to talk to her and she would simply press the button and stare at them while the moose sang. The message was clear: our conversation will wait until this moose is done dancing. Her expressive glance signaled that no one should dare to speak over the jaunty, upbeat moose song. There was also a young filmmaker named Sami who was making a documentary about the making of the film, and he had set up several "confession booths" where cast and crew were encouraged to sit and talk about the process. I actually held the record for the most visits to the confession booth. I would go in at least once a day and talk about how this was such a great and rewarding experience. I only appear briefly in the documentary, because there was much more dramatically interesting footage of everyone else in the cast disgruntledly going "I hate everything."

The documentary was originally going to be called Docville, but was later changed to Dogville Confessions and I'm really upset about that because the pun is so excellent.

Lauren Bacall, on the other hand, very rarely went into the booth. Sami had to beg her to go in and talk a little bit, since he would love to include her thoughts in the film. In retaliation, she allegedly went in with her moose and sat in the booth for three hours-- never speaking, but simply pressing the button and making the moose dance over and over again until the battery died. I don't know for sure if this true, but I totally believe it is. It is absolutely the type of thing she would do.

Eventually, she got bored of the moose toy and we never saw it again. But it was wonderful while it lasted, and whenever I see a similar toy, I immediately think of Lauren Bacall. Because it was absolutely wonderful to see her so amused by it. The dancing moose clearly brought her some level of joy, and that's remarkable to me. As I said before, she was always kind to me, but I was still never able to get over my sense of awe in her presence. She is truly a legend-- and I can attest that she was truly grander than life. Every moment I spent with her felt unreal, felt impossible, felt incredible. And even though I certainly did not know her well, I think that is why I was so shaken when I heard the news of her passing--a little over one day ago as of this writing. In reputation, and in reality, she seemed simply immortal. She was and is Lauren Bacall. And to see her get such enjoyment out of a, frankly, stupid little novelty toy, well, I just think that's wonderful. It makes her human.

She was an incredible person, and I am forever humbled by the time I spent with her. I have a little list of potential drink names that I might order for this blog, and "The Dancing Moose" has been on there for a while. After the news of her passing, well, it just felt appropriate.

Me with Lauren Bacall and Ben Gazzara-- another incredible (and strange) actor who passed away a couple of years ago.

Ordering The Drink: I really can't stress how stunned I was at the news of Lauren Bacall's death-- certainly more so than I thought I would be. And I thought that maybe ordering this drink would bring me some sort of closure. So I decided to go to Dive Bar-- literally the closest bar to my apartment.

"Dive Bar" might seem like an uncreative name, like if you were to go shopping at a store called "Clothes," but it's actually pretty clever. Dive Bar, which has three locations in Manhattan, employs an underwater theme. So, "dive" refers to the idea of a deep-sea diver. It's cute, and the decor is fun and fitting to the theme.

Note the diver's helmet and the mermaid bust which fit with the theme. And the disco ball which does not.

This bar is literally right down the street from me and has been around for ages. But I have somehow never gone inside before, even though I'd heard good things. So, despite the somber reasoning behind this drink's name, I was excited to try it out. I found the bar really fun, with a great crowd and a jovial waitstaff. Plus, among the aquatic decor, there was a moose head, which I thought boded well for this particular drink. Unfortunately, the moose head was in a particularly dark corner of the bar and I couldn't get a good picture.

Here's a picture I took of the moose.

And here's a picture I took of the moose but with the flash on. As you can see, no difference. Although the baseball game in the background is clearer.

But despite the fact that the moose was lurking in the shadows, I felt optimistic.

My bartender was a friendly, vikingesque man named Eric (or maybe Erik? Erich? Eryk? Eryichkc? Errichyirk9ckeryk? I'm not sure-- he didn't spell it for me) who seemed incredibly genial, and on first-name basis with most of the patrons at the bar. I made the request and he seemed kind of confused, but was still on board with it. He started typing something on his cell phone and asked me to repeat the name of the drink. I repeated "The Dancing Moose" and he typed something into his phone again. I don't have proof of this, but I'm 90% sure he was looking it up to see if it was a pre-existing drink and I was testing him. But, of course, it wasn't and he got to work assembling the drink.

This is not Erykhc the bartender. But it is a pretty fish tank-- one of several around the bar.

After not too long, Errikych set a drink down in front of me.

The Drink:

Buffalo Trace Bourbon

Canadian Club Whiskey

Pineapple Juice

Sour Mix

Cherry for Garnish

Assessment of Drink: Earyich explained the drink as he set it down.

"So, you said moose, so I put in Buffalo Trace Bourbon because it's, with moose, they..."

At this point, Earrack trailed off and ended up not finishing his sentence. It was clear to me that upon hearing "The Dancing Moose," he immediately thought of buffalo, and it was not until that very moment that he realized that buffalo and moose are not related. We both silently decided to let it slide and he moved onto the next ingredient.

"And then I thought that a lot of moose live in Canada, so I put in some Canadian Club. But then you said dancing, so I though there had to be something kinda fun, so I put in the pineapple and sour mix."

I was very happy to hear these ingredients. My typical drink of choice at a bar (when I'm not tormenting the bartenders with my customized drink requests) is a Whiskey Sour, and this drink was very similar to that. I eagerly took a sip.

And the drink was certainly fine, but I did find it a little disappointing. I do think that these ingredients themselves could make a great drink-- the pineapple juice could theoretically compliment a whiskey sour well-- but the pineapple and the sour mix didn't really come through at all, so it basically just tasted like straight whiskey. Now, some of you are probably saying "But, Miles, whiskey is great!" And, yes, it is. But if I wanted straight whiskey, then that's what I would order. The point of a mixed drink is that you have other flavors present. The reason I usually like a Whiskey Sour over straight whiskey is that I think the sour really brings out nice undertones within the whiskey and compliments it well. The benefit of a mixed drink is that you get the different flavors and how they play off each other. Here, the whiskey was just a bit too overpowering for me. Which is such a shame since, as I mentioned, I think the other ingredients could have really worked if they'd been a bit more prominent. Oh well, it's a good thing I like whiskey! Having too much whiskey in a drink is a really nitpicky criticism.

Does It Live Up To The Name: Sure. Errhiyck's attempt to tie moose and buffalo together was a bit misguided-- both are large, brown mammals which are common in North America, but they're not actually related in any way. But I can see how, in the spur of a moment, a connection could be made. I think that the use of the Canadian Club is a stronger connection. But, perhaps because I was longing for a flavor other than just whiskey, I couldn't help but wonder if perhaps Canada Dry ginger ale might have been a nice addition to this drink. We keep the "Canada" part, but I think the ginger could have maybe been a good bridge between the whiskey and the pineapple, since it goes with both of those flavors well. I might even try that myself sometime.

I do like that it was a stronger drink. Whether dancing or not, there is nothing graceful or refined about a moose-- they're just large and clunky creatures. And the idea of a moose dancing, while amusing, still brings to mind a burly, strong creature. 

I AM DELICATE!

So, I think the fact that it was a somewhat strong drink did make a lot of sense. I just wish that the sweetness of the pineapple had come through a bit more. That would have elevated this drink a lot for me.

I will also admit that, even though the bartender couldn't have possibly known this drink name was referencing a museum in Sweden, I kind of was hoping a Swedish alcohol like Aquavit might make an appearance. (Or schnapps. Lars von Trier loves schnapps). But, then again, if I really wanted that I wouldn't have gone to a place that is literally called "Dive Bar." The bar is exactly what it promises-- a friendly, neighborhood bar. Although the Dancing Moose was a bit of a disappointment, I am excited to return to Dive Bar. They seemed to have a solid beer selection, and I've heard their food is pretty good for a bar too. Maybe there'll even be a mooseburger on the menu. Probably not, but if there is, I'll be sure to order it.