The Name: Miss Scarlet with the Cola
The Bar: Skytown (921 Broadway, Brooklyn NYC)
The Story
Behind The Name: I trust that most of you are familiar with the boardgame Clue. The murder-mystery-themed game has always been popular, and has certainly made its impact on the world. How many other board games have inspired a film, a stage musical, a game show, a book series, and more? I grew up playing lots of table games and Clue always stood out as one of my favorites. I think what I liked about it so much was that it was the only board game that actually had characters. The six standard suspects in each game of Clue--Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Mr. Green, Mrs. Peacock, and Professor Plum--have entered the cultural lexicon and taken on personalities far beyond the lack of description the actual game affords them. It's a great game, and its continuing popularity is hardly a surprise.
But, not everyone is a fan of Clue. Most games of Clue come with an age recommendation of 8 and up. Not because the game is difficult, but because of its murder theme. While I played Clue well before I was 8 and turned out okay (well, okay enough) I can understand why some parents would not want their kids playing any game that is, essentially, about homicide.
These parents should not fear, however, for there is a solution! Do you want your kids to enjoy the deduction-based fun of Clue but without the implication of bludgeoning someone to death with a lead pipe? In 1989, Parker Brothers released Clue Junior: Case of the Missing Pet, which was aimed at younger kids. The game was mostly like Clue, but with a few key differences. Most obviously, you were no longer solving a murder, but a theft. You had to figure out who stole the pet, which pet they stole, and where they hid it. The other key difference is that, to make the game more relatable for kids, the suspects were kids as well, although based on the original characters. Now we have Georgie Green and Polly Peacock, etc. I've never played Clue Junior, but I was aware it existed and thought it provided a great alternative for parents who weren't thrilled about the whole murder-in-the-dark theme in their kids' games.
Due to my job as a toy salesman, I recently made a discovery about Clue Junior. Like so many other classic games, in recent years, Hasbro (which now owns the property) has made an effort to revamp the game. It's now repackaged, updated, and...completely stupid. So stupid, that I find the changes to this classic game at once baffling and fascinating. Let's consider how this new Clue Junior is different. Well, firstly, this time there's no missing pet. It's a missing cake. Or, more accurately, a missing slice of cake. Since if you look at the cover of the board game, there's plenty of cake left. Despite this egregious cake theft, no one's in danger of not getting cake. Really, it's a victimless crime. Even the Hardy Boys, if confronted with this, would be like "Really? We have better things to do with our time than this."
In that picture, you might notice another thing about this game. The suspects are no longer kids, it's the original six suspects again. And that's where the idea of Clue Junior really falls apart for me. Because, to play Clue Junior, the game is asking us to believe that six fully-grown adults, including a college professor and a high ranking army official, were having a party, a slice of cake went missing, and they all went "That's it, we're launching a full investigation. Right. NOW!"
But, of course, figuring out who stole the cake is only part of the game. You also have to figure out at what time they ate it, and what they had to drink with it. Of course, since this is a game for kids, the beverages of choice are non-alcoholic, so no wine or cognac or anything like that. Instead, our beverage options are apple juice, chocolate milk, cola, lemonade, and water. Even though there are six weapons in classic Clue, there are only five beverages. Because no one involved in the making of this game cared enough to think of a sixth one. Or they forgot to count and just assumed they had six. I'm not sure which. Either way, the image of Mrs. Peacock sneaking off to the Conservatory to eat a contraband slice of cake with an apple juicebox and then lying about it, is one that I find hilarious.
Obviously, this is a game designed for kids who are not going to overthink it. And board games are not known for their close continuity with reality. If we consider classic Clue, for example, how is it possible for there to be a dead body and no one is sure whether they were killed with a revolver, a knife, a rope, or a wrench? Those weapons should leave fairly identifiable marks. And even in more dignified games, there are discrepancies. In Chess, why is it that horses can only move in L-shapes? And how are castles able to move at all? And why can bishops only move sideways? It's not exactly logic-based. But, Clue Junior: The Case of the Missing Cake fails to live up even to the most basic level of scrutiny. The idea behind it is patently ridiculous. In most games, at least there's an attempt to explain WHY you're doing what you're doing. But the case of a missing slice of cake is just so very low in stakes, the detail of what they drank with it is unnecessary, and the use of the original characters instead of their child equivalents is the icing on the (missing) cake. I love the film, and I keep imagining it being remade, but with the missing cake case instead. And the more I think of it, the more I really want this to happen. Imagine Tim Curry running around explaining just who exactly stole the cake?
But, not everyone is a fan of Clue. Most games of Clue come with an age recommendation of 8 and up. Not because the game is difficult, but because of its murder theme. While I played Clue well before I was 8 and turned out okay (well, okay enough) I can understand why some parents would not want their kids playing any game that is, essentially, about homicide.
These parents should not fear, however, for there is a solution! Do you want your kids to enjoy the deduction-based fun of Clue but without the implication of bludgeoning someone to death with a lead pipe? In 1989, Parker Brothers released Clue Junior: Case of the Missing Pet, which was aimed at younger kids. The game was mostly like Clue, but with a few key differences. Most obviously, you were no longer solving a murder, but a theft. You had to figure out who stole the pet, which pet they stole, and where they hid it. The other key difference is that, to make the game more relatable for kids, the suspects were kids as well, although based on the original characters. Now we have Georgie Green and Polly Peacock, etc. I've never played Clue Junior, but I was aware it existed and thought it provided a great alternative for parents who weren't thrilled about the whole murder-in-the-dark theme in their kids' games.
Due to my job as a toy salesman, I recently made a discovery about Clue Junior. Like so many other classic games, in recent years, Hasbro (which now owns the property) has made an effort to revamp the game. It's now repackaged, updated, and...completely stupid. So stupid, that I find the changes to this classic game at once baffling and fascinating. Let's consider how this new Clue Junior is different. Well, firstly, this time there's no missing pet. It's a missing cake. Or, more accurately, a missing slice of cake. Since if you look at the cover of the board game, there's plenty of cake left. Despite this egregious cake theft, no one's in danger of not getting cake. Really, it's a victimless crime. Even the Hardy Boys, if confronted with this, would be like "Really? We have better things to do with our time than this."
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| It's a far worse crime than, say, leaving the cake out in the rain. I mean, it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again. |
In that picture, you might notice another thing about this game. The suspects are no longer kids, it's the original six suspects again. And that's where the idea of Clue Junior really falls apart for me. Because, to play Clue Junior, the game is asking us to believe that six fully-grown adults, including a college professor and a high ranking army official, were having a party, a slice of cake went missing, and they all went "That's it, we're launching a full investigation. Right. NOW!"
But, of course, figuring out who stole the cake is only part of the game. You also have to figure out at what time they ate it, and what they had to drink with it. Of course, since this is a game for kids, the beverages of choice are non-alcoholic, so no wine or cognac or anything like that. Instead, our beverage options are apple juice, chocolate milk, cola, lemonade, and water. Even though there are six weapons in classic Clue, there are only five beverages. Because no one involved in the making of this game cared enough to think of a sixth one. Or they forgot to count and just assumed they had six. I'm not sure which. Either way, the image of Mrs. Peacock sneaking off to the Conservatory to eat a contraband slice of cake with an apple juicebox and then lying about it, is one that I find hilarious.
Obviously, this is a game designed for kids who are not going to overthink it. And board games are not known for their close continuity with reality. If we consider classic Clue, for example, how is it possible for there to be a dead body and no one is sure whether they were killed with a revolver, a knife, a rope, or a wrench? Those weapons should leave fairly identifiable marks. And even in more dignified games, there are discrepancies. In Chess, why is it that horses can only move in L-shapes? And how are castles able to move at all? And why can bishops only move sideways? It's not exactly logic-based. But, Clue Junior: The Case of the Missing Cake fails to live up even to the most basic level of scrutiny. The idea behind it is patently ridiculous. In most games, at least there's an attempt to explain WHY you're doing what you're doing. But the case of a missing slice of cake is just so very low in stakes, the detail of what they drank with it is unnecessary, and the use of the original characters instead of their child equivalents is the icing on the (missing) cake. I love the film, and I keep imagining it being remade, but with the missing cake case instead. And the more I think of it, the more I really want this to happen. Imagine Tim Curry running around explaining just who exactly stole the cake?
 |
| Icing...on the side of my face... |
Ordering
The Drink: My bemusement with this new version of Clue Junior inspired me to
order a drink based on the ludicrous premise. I tried to figure out what
sort of name I could use, and knew that I had to leave the cake out of
it, or I'd risk ordering a drink that was sickeningly sweet. I
ultimately decided that my best option was to title the drink after a
typical Clue accusation (like Colonel Mustard with the knife) but with
one of the game's beverage options swapped in instead of the weapon. The
beverage options were easy to narrow down. Ordering a cocktail with chocolate milk was never going to end well, I would be laughed out of the bar if I asked for a drink with apple juice, and asking for a drink with water was really just a way of saying, "Make me a weak, diluted cocktail." Maybe great if you're a fan of homeopathy, but that's not something that sounds too appealing for me. So, I was left with either cola or lemonade. Cola is a somewhat common mixer, and while you don't exactly see lemonade specifically in too many cocktails, the flavor of lemon is quite common.
But, more than choosing which beverage would make it into the name, I had to choose a suspect. This seemed like an impossible task. I don't really have a favorite character, so the idea of choosing one of the suspects over another was not only tough, but would completely change the tone of the drink I'd be ordering. If I got a drink named after Professor Plum, for example, it would almost definitely have creme de violette in it. If I ordered a Mrs. White, it was likely that I'd get a cream-based drink. Although that would not pair well with cola OR lemonade. And if I ordered a drink named after Colonel Mustard, I would probably get a yellow drink, but I hoped the bartender wouldn't think, "Well, I guess I have to put mustard in this." As I was debating which suspect to put in my drink name, it occurred to me that I could just randomly choose one of the suspects from the cards in my Clue game. And then I had an interesting idea. What if I picked the suspect right before getting the drink? So the drink name would not be known to even me until seconds before I placed the order? AND, since there are six suspects to choose from, and two beverage options that I could also include in the name, why don't I do this more than once? Why don't I challenge two bars in one night to create a different Clue Junior drink?
But, more than choosing which beverage would make it into the name, I had to choose a suspect. This seemed like an impossible task. I don't really have a favorite character, so the idea of choosing one of the suspects over another was not only tough, but would completely change the tone of the drink I'd be ordering. If I got a drink named after Professor Plum, for example, it would almost definitely have creme de violette in it. If I ordered a Mrs. White, it was likely that I'd get a cream-based drink. Although that would not pair well with cola OR lemonade. And if I ordered a drink named after Colonel Mustard, I would probably get a yellow drink, but I hoped the bartender wouldn't think, "Well, I guess I have to put mustard in this." As I was debating which suspect to put in my drink name, it occurred to me that I could just randomly choose one of the suspects from the cards in my Clue game. And then I had an interesting idea. What if I picked the suspect right before getting the drink? So the drink name would not be known to even me until seconds before I placed the order? AND, since there are six suspects to choose from, and two beverage options that I could also include in the name, why don't I do this more than once? Why don't I challenge two bars in one night to create a different Clue Junior drink?
And so, my friend, the ever-stoic Elizabeth joined me on my Clue Junior-themed adventure. Hopefully no cakes would go missing in our efforts. We ended up barhopping Bushwick, an area of Brooklyn and a somewhat weird choice considering that it was fairly out of the way for both of us. But, luckily, there are some nice neighborhood bars there which were more than happy to have us. First, we went to Skytown, a bar and restaurant that Elizabeth had been to before. Skytown has a welcoming and comfortable atmosphere--very relaxed but refined with a healthy degree of cool. Elizabeth's recommendation was a great one, and our first round of drinks (a Bloody Mary for Elizabeth, and a tropical rum and coconut cocktail called the Barbara Ann for me) hit the spot.
After we had finished our drinks, it was time to choose a drink name. I laid out the cards on the table.
And Elizabeth picked one. And our lucky winner was...Miss Scarlet!
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| Elizabeth poses with the winning card, trying to match Miss Scarlet's similarly vacant expression. Elizabeth is also holding the mini cocktail umbrella for NO REASON which I told her, but she insisted. |
I have to say I was relieved that Miss Scarlet (or as it's spelled on the card for some reason, Miss Scarlett) was the choice of card. As far as drink colors go, red is one of the easier options to give to a bartender. Now, we had to choose whether we wanted to go with the cola or the lemonade. One thought entered my mind: cherry cola. If any suspect was going to pair well with the flavor of cola, then it would be Miss Scarlet and her red motif. So, we asked our bartender for two orders of a Miss Scarlet with the Cola. He set off to make our drinks. I didn't grab a picture of him, but Elizabeth pointed out that he looked a lot like Giovanni Ribisi.
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| Our bartender. |
The Drink:
Whiskey
Coca Cola
Cranberry Juice
Grenadine
Simple Syrup
Maraschino Cherries
Coca Cola
Cranberry Juice
Grenadine
Simple Syrup
Maraschino Cherries
Assessment
of Drink: When I heard the ingredients, my initial thought was that it was going to be way too sweet. Coca Cola AND grenadine AND simple syrup?! Surely it needed some bitters or something. But despite my fears, the drink was actually a lot more balanced than I would have thought. It was definitely sweet, but not cloying or unpleasant. The cranberry offered a nice tart aftertaste which cut through some of the sweetness. It was almost too drinkable, and we both finished our Miss Scarlet with the Colas faster than we probably should have. And, I should point out that neither Elizabeth nor I are particularly fans of the taste of Coca Cola (we're in a small minority, I know), and had been a bit worried that the flavor would be too overpowering. But it did work well, working with the fruit juices to bring out some of the subtle, smooth, sweetness of the whiskey. I would definitely order it again if I had the option. If I had a critique, it would be that the simple syrup was unnecessary. There were already plenty of ingredients which made this drink sweet, but which added more flavor. And while the sweetness wasn't unpleasant, it could have easily done without the syrup for sure. Taking the syrup out, and maybe adding some bitters of some sort (maybe a chocolate bitter or a spicy bitter?) would have made the drink more refined and substantial. But, again, I was very happy with the drink and would definitely order it again.
Plus, these were the good, fancy maraschino cherries. Not those bright, neon red ones. And those maraschino cherries are insanely delicious, so extra points for the garnish for sure.
Plus, these were the good, fancy maraschino cherries. Not those bright, neon red ones. And those maraschino cherries are insanely delicious, so extra points for the garnish for sure.
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| I suspiciously peer over the Miss Scarlets, and no one suspects that I'm the one who stole the cake all along! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!! |
Does It Live Up To The Name: Absolutely! By design, as long as this drink contained cola and something that was red it would have fit this name reasonably well. But I think that our Ribisiesque bartender exceeded expectations. Before the drink arrived, I was hoping the flavor of cherry would be incorporated, and it was. I would have ideally loved a bright red drink, but adding the cola to the mix made this impossible, and the use of both grenadine and cranberry juice meant that the color red was well-represented in this drink. Ultimately, for this category, I tend to ask myself the question, "If this was actually on a cocktail menu under this name, would it seem out of place or not?" Using this test, the Miss Scarlet with the Cola passes with flying colors. Especially the color red.
Skytown's What's That Drink challenge was a rousing success, but my night of curious clue cocktails in Bushwick was not done yet. Find out which suspect was chosen next by reading part two here!
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