Drink 33: The Clue Junior Drinks (Part I)

The Name: Miss Scarlet with the Cola                                                                               

The Bar: Skytown (921 Broadway, Brooklyn NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: I trust that most of you are familiar with the boardgame Clue. The murder-mystery-themed game has always been popular, and has certainly made its impact on the world. How many other board games have inspired a film, a stage musical, a game show, a book series, and more? I grew up playing lots of table games and Clue always stood out as one of my favorites. I think what I liked about it so much was that it was the only board game that actually had characters. The six standard suspects in each game of Clue--Miss Scarlet, Colonel Mustard, Mrs. White, Mr. Green, Mrs. Peacock, and Professor Plum--have entered the cultural lexicon and taken on personalities far beyond the lack of description the actual game affords them. It's a great game, and its continuing popularity is hardly a surprise.

But, not everyone is a fan of Clue. Most games of Clue come with an age recommendation of 8 and up. Not because the game is difficult, but because of its murder theme. While I played Clue well before I was 8 and turned out okay (well, okay enough) I can understand why some parents would not want their kids playing any game that is, essentially, about homicide.

These parents should not fear, however, for there is a solution! Do you want your kids to enjoy the deduction-based fun of Clue but without the implication of bludgeoning someone to death with a lead pipe? In 1989, Parker Brothers released Clue Junior: Case of the Missing Pet, which was aimed at younger kids. The game was mostly like Clue, but with a few key differences. Most obviously, you were no longer solving a murder, but a theft. You had to figure out who stole the pet, which pet they stole, and where they hid it. The other key difference is that, to make the game more relatable for kids, the suspects were kids as well, although based on the original characters. Now we have Georgie Green and Polly Peacock, etc. I've never played Clue Junior, but I was aware it existed and thought it provided a great alternative for parents who weren't thrilled about the whole murder-in-the-dark theme in their kids' games.

Due to my job as a toy salesman, I recently made a discovery about Clue Junior. Like so many other classic games, in recent years, Hasbro (which now owns the property) has made an effort to revamp the game. It's now repackaged, updated, and...completely stupid. So stupid, that I find the changes to this classic game at once baffling and fascinating. Let's consider how this new Clue Junior is different. Well, firstly, this time there's no missing pet. It's a missing cake. Or, more accurately, a missing slice of cake. Since if you look at the cover of the board game, there's plenty of cake left. Despite this egregious cake theft, no one's in danger of not getting cake. Really, it's a victimless crime. Even the Hardy Boys, if confronted with this, would be like "Really? We have better things to do with our time than this."

It's a far worse crime than, say, leaving the cake out in the rain. I mean, it took so long to bake it, and I'll never have that recipe again.

In that picture, you might notice another thing about this game. The suspects are no longer kids, it's the original six suspects again. And that's where the idea of Clue Junior really falls apart for me. Because, to play Clue Junior, the game is asking us to believe that six fully-grown adults, including a college professor and a high ranking army official, were having a party, a slice of cake went missing, and they all went "That's it, we're launching a full investigation. Right. NOW!"

But, of course, figuring out who stole the cake is only part of the game. You also have to figure out at what time they ate it, and what they had to drink with it. Of course, since this is a game for kids, the beverages of choice are non-alcoholic, so no wine or cognac or anything like that. Instead, our beverage options are apple juice, chocolate milk, cola, lemonade, and water. Even though there are six weapons in classic Clue, there are only five beverages. Because no one involved in the making of this game cared enough to think of a sixth one. Or they forgot to count and just assumed they had six. I'm not sure which. Either way, the image of Mrs. Peacock sneaking off to the Conservatory to eat a contraband slice of cake with an apple juicebox and then lying about it, is one that I find hilarious.

Obviously, this is a game designed for kids who are not going to overthink it. And board games are not known for their close continuity with reality. If we consider classic Clue, for example, how is it possible for there to be a dead body and no one is sure whether they were killed with a revolver, a knife, a rope, or a wrench? Those weapons should leave fairly identifiable marks. And even in more dignified games, there are discrepancies. In Chess, why is it that horses can only move in L-shapes? And how are castles able to move at all? And why can bishops only move sideways? It's not exactly logic-based. But, Clue Junior: The Case of the Missing Cake fails to live up even to the most basic level of scrutiny. The idea behind it is patently ridiculous. In most games, at least there's an attempt to explain WHY you're doing what you're doing. But the case of a missing slice of cake is just so very low in stakes, the detail of what they drank with it is unnecessary, and the use of the original characters instead of their child equivalents is the icing on the (missing) cake. I love the film, and I keep imagining it being remade, but with the missing cake case instead. And the more I think of it, the more I really want this to happen. Imagine Tim Curry running around explaining just who exactly stole the cake?

Icing...on the side of my face...

Ordering The Drink: My bemusement with this new version of Clue Junior inspired me to order a drink based on the ludicrous premise. I tried to figure out what sort of name I could use, and knew that I had to leave the cake out of it, or I'd risk ordering a drink that was sickeningly sweet. I ultimately decided that my best option was to title the drink after a typical Clue accusation (like Colonel Mustard with the knife) but with one of the game's beverage options swapped in instead of the weapon. The beverage options were easy to narrow down. Ordering a cocktail with chocolate milk was never going to end well, I would be laughed out of the bar if I asked for a drink with apple juice, and asking for a drink with water was really just a way of saying, "Make me a weak, diluted cocktail." Maybe great if you're a fan of homeopathy, but that's not something that sounds too appealing for me. So, I was left with either cola or lemonade. Cola is a somewhat common mixer, and while you don't exactly see lemonade specifically in too many cocktails, the flavor of lemon is quite common.

But, more than choosing which beverage would make it into the name, I had to choose a suspect. This seemed like an impossible task. I don't really have a favorite character, so the idea of choosing one of the suspects over another was not only tough, but would completely change the tone of the drink I'd be ordering. If I got a drink named after Professor Plum, for example, it would almost definitely have creme de violette in it. If I ordered a Mrs. White, it was likely that I'd get a cream-based drink. Although that would not pair well with cola OR lemonade. And if I ordered a drink named after Colonel Mustard, I would probably get a yellow drink, but I hoped the bartender wouldn't think, "Well, I guess I have to put mustard in this." As I was debating which suspect to put in my drink name, it occurred to me that I could just randomly choose one of the suspects from the cards in my Clue game. And then I had an interesting idea. What if I picked the suspect right before getting the drink? So the drink name would not be known to even me until seconds before I placed the order? AND, since there are six suspects to choose from, and two beverage options that I could also include in the name, why don't I do this more than once? Why don't I challenge two bars in one night to create a different Clue Junior drink?

And so, my friend, the ever-stoic Elizabeth joined me on my Clue Junior-themed adventure. Hopefully no cakes would go missing in our efforts. We ended up barhopping Bushwick, an area of Brooklyn and a somewhat weird choice considering that it was fairly out of the way for both of us. But, luckily, there are some nice neighborhood bars there which were more than happy to have us. First, we went to Skytown, a bar and restaurant that Elizabeth had been to before. Skytown has a welcoming and comfortable atmosphere--very relaxed but refined with a healthy degree of cool. Elizabeth's recommendation was a great one, and our first round of drinks (a Bloody Mary for Elizabeth, and a tropical rum and coconut cocktail called the Barbara Ann for me) hit the spot.

After we had finished our drinks, it was time to choose a drink name. I laid out the cards on the table.

And Elizabeth picked one. And our lucky winner was...Miss Scarlet!

Elizabeth poses with the winning card, trying to match Miss Scarlet's similarly vacant expression. Elizabeth is also holding the mini cocktail umbrella for NO REASON which I told her, but she insisted.

I have to say I was relieved that Miss Scarlet (or as it's spelled on the card for some reason, Miss Scarlett) was the choice of card. As far as drink colors go, red is one of the easier options to give to a bartender. Now, we had to choose whether we wanted to go with the cola or the lemonade. One thought entered my mind: cherry cola. If any suspect was going to pair well with the flavor of cola, then it would be Miss Scarlet and her red motif. So, we asked our bartender for two orders of a Miss Scarlet with the Cola. He set off to make our drinks. I didn't grab a picture of him, but Elizabeth pointed out that he looked a lot like Giovanni Ribisi.

Our bartender.

The Drink:

Whiskey
Coca Cola
Cranberry Juice
Grenadine
Simple Syrup
Maraschino Cherries

Assessment of Drink: When I heard the ingredients, my initial thought was that it was going to be way too sweet. Coca Cola AND grenadine AND simple syrup?! Surely it needed some bitters or something. But despite my fears, the drink was actually a lot more balanced than I would have thought. It was definitely sweet, but not cloying or unpleasant. The cranberry offered a nice tart aftertaste which cut through some of the sweetness. It was almost too drinkable, and we both finished our Miss Scarlet with the Colas faster than we probably should have. And, I should point out that neither Elizabeth nor I are particularly fans of the taste of Coca Cola (we're in a small minority, I know), and had been a bit worried that the flavor would be too overpowering. But it did work well, working with the fruit juices to bring out some of the subtle, smooth, sweetness of the whiskey. I would definitely order it again if I had the option. If I had a critique, it would be that the simple syrup was unnecessary. There were already plenty of ingredients which made this drink sweet, but which added more flavor. And while the sweetness wasn't unpleasant, it could have easily done without the syrup for sure. Taking the syrup out, and maybe adding some bitters of some sort (maybe a chocolate bitter or a spicy bitter?) would have made the drink more refined and substantial. But, again, I was very happy with the drink and would definitely order it again.

Plus, these were the good, fancy maraschino cherries. Not those bright, neon red ones. And those maraschino cherries are insanely delicious, so extra points for the garnish for sure.

I suspiciously peer over the Miss Scarlets, and no one suspects that I'm the one who stole the cake all along! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Does It Live Up To The Name: Absolutely! By design, as long as this drink contained cola and something that was red it would have fit this name reasonably well. But I think that our Ribisiesque bartender exceeded expectations. Before the drink arrived, I was hoping the flavor of cherry would be incorporated, and it was. I would have ideally loved a bright red drink, but adding the cola to the mix made this impossible, and the use of both grenadine and cranberry juice meant that the color red was well-represented in this drink. Ultimately, for this category, I tend to ask myself the question, "If this was actually on a cocktail menu under this name, would it seem out of place or not?" Using this test, the Miss Scarlet with the Cola passes with flying colors. Especially the color red.

Skytown's What's That Drink challenge was a rousing success, but my night of curious clue cocktails in Bushwick was not done yet. Find out which suspect was chosen next by reading part two here!

Drink 25: The African Violet (Part I)

Before I get into the drink, I'd like to just apologize to this blog's fans for not posting in so long! The last couple of months have been hectic (as you can imagine, December is pretty busy for a toy salesman, and then I was very focused on grad school auditions). But I am back and should be posting regularly again. In fact, I'm getting back into the swing of things with not just any post, but a TWO PART post! I haven't had one of those since The Murdered Moose so you KNOW it's exciting. Now, read all about The African Violet

The Name: The African Violet                                                                                 

The Bar: Superfine (126 Front Street, Brooklyn, NYC)

 

The Story Behind The Name: I'm an only child, and so when I left home to go to college, it was predictable that my parents would feel a little bit of empty nest syndrome. Now, all parents respond to this situation in different ways. Some pick up a new hobby, some get a dog, and some simply follow their children and live in a trailer camped outside of their dorm room. Although she briefly considered that last option, my mother ultimately settled on another option all together. She decided to get a plant. Specifically, and this shouldn't be too surprising considering the title of this post, an African violet.

But not just any African violet. An African violet that she named Irving. Who was the best African violet in the whole wide world.

Irving. The best plant of all time.

I first heard of Irving's existence during a phone call with my mom where she excitedly told me she had purchased an African violet. I don't remember my response, to be honest. I probably said something vaguely encouraging like "good for you!" But at the time, I was not aware of how big a part of my life Irving would soon become. From that day on, every time I called home, I would receive an Irving report. This report was always prefaced with "Do you want to hear how Irving is doing," which was funny because it implied I had a choice. And the report was pretty much always "Irving gave me a new flower today!" The first time I came home from college, I got to meet Irving, and it was a huge ceremony. It felt like I was meeting a celebrity. Or, more accurately, it felt like I was meeting a new member of my family.

My mother, for her part, seemed mostly unaware of just how much she talked about Irving. When my dad and I first mentioned that she talked about him as if he was my new brother, she seemed surprised, but soon conceded and, with that acceptance, the level of Irving enthusiasm intensified. As part of a stand-up routine in college, I actually include a whole bit about Irving. I was worried that, when my mom watched it she'd object, but as I said the words "I've been replaced by a plant" my mom just nodded her head and was like "yeah."

This story is, I know, ridiculously cute. My mom has been known to get excited about things before, but her love of Irving was truly adorable and heartfelt. Like the movie Babe.

That'll do, plant. That'll do.

But, also like the movie Babe, this seemingly cute story WILL make you cry. Because...at the start of my senior year, I got an email that Irving was struggling. He was no longer as vibrant as he once was, was losing leaves rapidly, and needed emergency surgery (read: pruning). A month later, Irving had still not recovered. Irving, my mother's African violet, and my brother, had passed away. My mother sent me an email with the following paragraph.

On a sadder note, we mourn the passing of Irving this evening.  And we celebrate his life.  He brought many hours of joy and humor to our family.  He will be missed.

Private services were held with immediate family members.  We all shed a tear ~ as he shed his leaves.

 In Pace Requiescat

But while Irving was gone, his legacy lives on. The next year, I got my mother a gift card to the local florist, which she used to purchase a new African violet, this time named Irving II. Unfortunately, Irving II is a bit of a problem child, and has failed to live up to his predecessor. My mother chose him for his distinctive leaf pattern, which he still has, but he has failed to produce flowers for quite some time, which, for an African violet, does seem to be a shortcoming. My mother has grown increasingly frustrated with him. I bring him up and she says "Don't even get me started on Irving II." At one point she even threatened to bring him back to the plant shop and exchange him for another plant. My father and I were horrified--this joke that my mother's African violets are treated like children has always been just a joke, but threats of exchanging Irving II for another plant made that joke feel incredibly real. "YOU CAN'T DO THAT," we begged of my mom, and we passionately started championing Irving II's cause. "Have you ever considered that perhaps your negativity is contributing to his inability to grow flowers?" I asked at one point. My mother's eyes got wide. "I have been NOTHING if not supportive," she insisted. "I've praised him, I've encouraged him. Miles, I've SUNG to him." I 100% believe that she has sung to him. Possibly "Grow For Me" from Little Shop of Horrors which is both very apt and also very worrying.

Thankfully, my mother did not get rid of Irving II, but she did buy a third plant, this one named Irviletta. And Irviletta has been the show-off that Irving II simply is not. She produces more than enough flowers for both plants, and she, Irving II, and my mother seem to all be very happy together.

My mom with her plants, Irviletta, Irving II, and Groot.

Ordering The Drink: I was out to see a show at the marvelous St. Ann's Warehouse in Brooklyn with my parents, and we went to get dinner beforehand. We are decidedly Manhattan folk (this is, after all, the first drink I've gotten for this blog in Brooklyn so far)

Superfine, a cool restaurant which has benefited greatly from the increasing trendiness of the DUMBO neighborhood. It serves classic food, but with a twist, and was a really wonderful find. The innovation of its menu extends to its cocktails--while we were eating at the restaurant, there is a large bar that one can sit at, and the entire place had a pleasant, laidback vibe that one looks for in a neighborhood bar. 

The bar at Superfine

Since my parents were with me, I decided this was the perfect time to order a drink in honor of my mother's collection of Irvings. So, after we finished our first round of drinks (I had an excellent hot toddy) I asked out waiter if the bartender would be willing to make me a drink based on the name "The African Violet." He said that would be no problem and went off to get the drink. My parents and I were all excited!

Completely ready for a purple drink to come my way, I sat back and waited. But was rather surprised when a decidedly un-purple drink was brought over. I was intrigued.

The Drink:

The African Violet...or is it?

Rum (probably coconut rum)

Lime Juice

Grenadine

 

Assessment of Drink: A fairly simple drink, but really excellently presented. When the waiter brought the drink, he only listed the alcohol as rum, but tasting it, there was a distinct coconut flavor so my guess is it was a coconut rum specifically. And so this was very tropical and yummy. The lime was nice, its sourness cut through the other potentially sweet flavors, and brought out more of the tart flavors in the grenadine. Speaking of the grenadine, it was by far the best part of this drink, and what really set this drink apart from your standard everyday cocktail. As you can see in the picture above, the grenadine was sort of concentrated at the bottom of the glass, so it was not a major flavor the entire time you had this drink. For the most part it was just the coconut and lime (or...perhaps I should say the lime in the coconut...) but came into play when you got to the very bottom of the drink. It was like a little treat--this sweet reward for finishing off the drink. Grenadine is cloying on its own, but when combined with flavors to balance it it can be incredibly appealing. Cut by both the rum and the lime, the grenadine became very vibrant. It tasted almost like candy. The drink was really great, but it ended really strong especially. It wasn't just a cocktail, it was a bit of a journey-- a drink that evolved as you enjoyed it and that's pretty cool. I can't think of any complaints!

Does It Live Up To The Name: So, as good as this drink is, it does of course beg the question "what the hell does this have to do with African violets?" Well, the restaurant was a bit loud (some groovy live musicians started playing towards the end of our meal) and there are a few clues that suggested that perhaps the waiter had misheard me when I placed this order. For one thing, the fact that the drink was not purple or floral in any way suggested that the "violet" part might have been lost. Secondly, when our waiter placed the drink on the table, he said "So this is rum, and lime juice, and a splash of grenadine for the blood." 

The mention of blood was really a huge red flag. While all three of us enjoyed the drink, we couldn't help but wonder if whether we were drinking an African Violet at all. Sure enough, when he came back, we said we loved the drink, but asked if could clarify what drink he thought I ordered. Our waiter clarified that he thought I had ordered a drink called The African Violence.

I explained that I had said Violet, so no, I had not wanted to drink a cocktail inspired by the Sudan after all, and we all laughed at the hilarious misunderstanding. The waiter, honestly, looked kind of relieved. "I thought that was kind of dark," he said, in an understatement.

So, yeah. This drink was not an African Violet at all. And so it, of course, does not live up to the name of The African Violet at all, since  that wasn't the bartender's phrase of inspiration. So, I guess I'll have to talk about whether it lives up to the name The African Violence...which...no it doesn't. Now, to be fair, I wouldn't particularly WANT to drink a cocktail called The African Violence, so I'm not sure what I wish the bartender had done, so they were dealt an unintentionally bad hand. The splash of grenadine at the bottom didn't convincingly represent blood for me, but then again, I am happy I wasn't given some grotesque blood-splattered martini. So, I guess the way to approach this would have been to bring out the African part of the name more? Rum was a good choice--they do have African rums after all--but the coconut flavor which admittedly made this dish so yummy is not one that is relatable to African. So, whether it's the African Violet or the African Violence, this drink doesn't really live up to its assigned name all that much. But, I give the bartender a pass considering the name mix-up.

Also, immediately after we finished the drink, we got some praline cheesecake so all was immediately forgiven.

Superfine was a wonderful find, and should I find myself in DUMBO in need of a drink, I will definitely make my way over again. The food was great and the drinks were great...but I couldn't help but feel a little disappointed to have not gotten an African Violet drink in Irving's honor. That's why I ordered this drink again a few days later. Stay tuned to read part II of my story when I order The African Violet again (this time, making sure the waiter hears the name correctly).