Drink 45: The Christopher Walken Duck Joke

The Name: The Christopher Walken Duck Joke                                                                                 

The Bar: The Ship (158 Lafayette St., NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: My mom (when she's not caring for African violets or zombie cats) has had an incredibly impressive life working in the theater. Among her many accomplishments, she was one of the first women to ever call herself a sound designer, and even co-wrote what is uniformly considered the most comprehensive text on sound design ever written. And while I could easily go on and on about her importance as a theatrical trailblazer, a perk of her involvement in the theatre is that she has assembled quite a few stories from back in the day

In 1984, my mom was working as the music director on a production of a play called Cinders at the Public Theatre. It's a really great play about a film crew making a documentary about a girl's reform school putting on a production of Cinderella. It's a predominantly female cast, considering that it's set in an all-girl's school. But there are a few male roles, with the most prominent being the role of the documentary's director. In this production he was played by Christopher Walken. Walken is an amazing actor--I know people often say he does the same thing in every movie, but I actually think he's shown a lot of versatility. Yes, he has a distinct way of talking, but he manages to make every role suit his bizarre charm. Plus, he's just magnetic to watch. He has such a great presence, and he's even better on stage (which is where he got his start) than in film. But, he also has a reputation of being incredibly difficult to work with. He's somehow even more unpredictable offstage than on. Pretty much everyone who worked with Walken, especially in the 80's and 90's, has stories about him. About him walking off the stage in the middle of a scene to say something to the stage manager, about him hiding props and costume pieces that he didn't like so he wouldn't have to bring them onstage, etc. My mom has several stories about Christopher Walken, but this one is by far my favorite.

Before one performance, my mom was in the women's dressing room with the rest of the women in the cast, getting ready for the show. All of a sudden, Christopher Walken bursts in, clearly stoned out of his mind. Remember, this is right before a show is about to start. Several of the women tried to cover themselves, and many others yelled, "Chris, what are you doing here?" But he didn't seem to notice. Because he was a man on a mission.

"Girls, girls. I have a joke," he said, in his unusual cadence. Apparently his mission was to tell a joke. Below is the joke, but if you'd rather get the whole experience, you can listen to a recording of me telling the joke in my best Christopher Walken impression here. The joke was:

A duck walks into a pharmacy to buy some lip gloss. The cashier says, "Will that be cash?" And the duck says, "No, put it on my bill."

At this point, Christopher Walken chuckled heartily, then turned around, walked into a wall, and passed out.

Let's get one thing clear: this isn't a good joke. On the surface, it's not particularly funny, clever or interesting. But, when told by Christopher Walken, who afterwards walks into a wall and passes out, it becomes the greatest joke of all time. I think it's the urgency of it. His barging into the dressing room, announcing that he has a joke, shows that in his mind, it was imperative that his fellow cast members be aware of this hilarious piece of wit. And then, there's the fact that Christopher Walken can make anything funny. And the fact that, again, he WALKED INTO A WALL AND PASSED OUT IMMEDIATELY AFTER TELLING THE JOKE. Part of me thinks he wasn't even stoned as my mom suggests. It was just a bit he was trying out and he really committed to it.

This scene is amazing...but it would be even better if afterwards he had walked into a wall and passed out, right?

Ordering The Drink: I have wanted to get a drink called The Christopher Walken Duck Joke ever since I started doing this blog. But I've never ordered one because, even for this blog, it's an absolutely bizarre name. I can't just go anywhere and order a drink called The Christopher Walken Duck Joke, I needed a place that I knew was up to the challenge. Luckily, my friend Pat knows of a great place in Chinatown called The Ship, which specializes in really interesting cocktails. After we each ordered a drink for our first round, I realized that the cocktails at The Ship are especially bold. I got a drink called The Glass Animal, made with bourbon and lemon, that was especially bright and lemony. Pat's drink, called Touch of Evil, was made with mezcal and was really smokey and delicious. Sometimes, cocktails can be really subtle and delicate, but my impression of The Ship was that their drinks opted for more full-on flavor. And that's not a bad thing by any means--while the drinks lacked subtlety, they did have nuance and were incredibly complex. I found the forceful flavor of these drinks really refreshing and it made me excited to try more. Especially because they have a "Bartender's Choice" option on their menu, so I had a feeling that Pat's instincts were right and the bartender would be willing to play along.

After playing the order with our waitress, she asked me to repeat the instructions one more time. Not because she was hesitant, just because she wanted to make sure she conveyed the request to the bartender correctly. After not too long, the drink arrived.

The Drink:

Muddled Orange

Cynar

Lemon Juice

Gin 

Lemon Wedge (for duckbill) 

Assessment of Drink: As soon as the drink was placed in front of me, I laughed. I immediately loved the duckbill made from the lemon wedge. But despite its whimsical appearance, this was a serious drink. When I first heard the words "Muddled Orange," I thought of something more citrusy and fruity. But really, the muddled orange was more bitter than anything else. Kind of like an orange marmalade, with the bite that comes from the rind. And much like marmalade, this was a pleasant bitter flavor, and did definitely taste strongly of orange. Not like orange juice juice, but like actual orange. And while the orange flavor was definitely the most prominent flavor (and gave the drink a pretty amber color) the rest of the ingredients were well chosen. I like Cynar, which helped accentuate the bitterness, and the use of gin was perfect, as it didn't compete against the orange, but also gave the drink more flavor than, say, vodka would have. 

Not only was it a really tasty drink, it was also an unusual one. Sometimes with these cocktails, the drinks feel familiar. It'll taste like a bartender's twist on an Old Fashioned or a Tom Collins or something like that. But The Christopher Walken Duck Joke was quite unlike anything else I've had. Thanks to that delicious muddled orange.

Does It Live Up To The Name: I would have felt this drink met the requirements if only for the appearance. The lemon used as a duckbill was brilliant. And, it was a genuinely funny sight gag, so the garnish itself was a bit of a duck joke. All that the drink needed to do was fulfill the "Christopher Walken" part. Well, I said that this drink "was quite unlike anything else I've had," so that alone meets the Christopher Walken comparison. But more than that, I think that the bitterness of the drink was evocative of Walken and his sort of sarcastic persona. So, it definitely worked. If only the drink had been served in a cowbell, it would have been perfect.

The Ship was great! All the cocktails Pat and I got there were excellent, and I think they really rose to this weird challenge. But, the best part of the experience just might have come the next day, when they contacted Pat to ask how he enjoyed his experience at The Ship. They included a list of drinks we'd had, and there was my strange request right in the description.

Our time at The Ship was definitely a solid smiley face.