Drink 48: The Epic Spell Wars Drinks (Part I)

The Name: Dr. Rooty Bark's Mysterious Bedazzlement

The Bar: The Garret (296 Bleecker St., NYC, above the Five Guys)

The Story Behind The Name: Fans of this blog might remember my friend and former co-worker Nick, with whom I share a strange inside joke about all bowties actually being giraffes. If you find that confusing, feel free to read this post, but I can't guarantee it'll explain it. Well, one of Nick's great passions are board games and card games. While everyone's heard of the most famous games, like Monopoly or Sorry or Uno, there's a whole world of unusual and really fun games out there. And thanks to Nick, I've been lucky enough to play a lot of them. And my favorite game that Nick has introduced me to is hands down a card game called Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards: Duel at Mount Skullzfyre. The gameplay is simple: everyone plays as a wizard and takes turns casting spells designed to defeat their opponent. You make these spells by using cards in your hand. It's a relatively simple game, but it's elevated by the amount of humor in the game. This game is hilarious. I mean, look at that name! The epic spell war apparently takes place on a place called Mount Skullzfyre. There's a wonderful amount of detail that goes into making this game entertaining. To start, the wizard characters that you play as are delightful. They're a great display of exaggerated badassery. Although, my favorite character, and the one I always play as, is the one that's by far the least badass: a leprechaun named Fey Ticklebottom the Enchanter, who flies around on a cloud that shoots rainbows.

Me, impersonating my favorite all-powerful wizard.

But the real meat of the game comes from casting spells, which are where this game's creators' creativity really comes to light. Each spell can include up to three cards--a beginning, a middle, and an end of a spell. The first card says the name of the spell's inventor. The second card is an adjective about the spell. And the third card is the "delivery" card, which is the type of spell it is. In each round, you cast spells with a variety of fun and wacky names.

This blog is, of course, all about fun and wacky names. So, Nick and I decided that we would do something similar to the drinks I got inspired by Clue Junior. We would take some spell cards from the game and randomly draw them right before we place our bar order, thus creating a cocktail that was guaranteed to have a bizarre and insane name.

Beforehand, we decided to narrow down our options and not leave things too up to chance. Some of the spell card words would simply be too disgusting for the drink. Essentially, we didn't want to basically dare the bartender to give us something gross. Or, even worse, something dangerous. If you order a drink that includes the word "Death Wish" and say the bartender can put whatever they want in it, you're basically asking for them to serve you a glass of bleach. We chose our four favorite cards of each variety and ended up with the following options:

Rose Bottom's/Professor Presto's/Dr. Rooty Bark's/Midnight Merlin's...

...Inferno-Tastic/Thundering/Mysterious/Delicious...

...Snakedance/Phantasmagoons/Bedazzlement/Fountain of Youth

So, for example, by randomly selecting cards, we might end up with a drink called Professor Presto's Delicious Snakedance. Which is also the name of a spell one might cast in the game. It's a really great game.

Ordering The Drink: Nick and I found our way to The Garret, a hidden bar that you can only get into by climbing some stairs in the back of a Five Guys. As we walked into the Five Guys, we looked around to find the secret entrance. The cashier, sensing that we were looking for something, cheerfully asked us, "Bathroom or Garret?" It was clear he had asked this question to a lot of people. Luckily, with the cashier's help, we found The Garret. It's a great place, which immediately has a cool vibe to it. And the fact that it's above what is one of the best places for fast, drunk food is brilliant. Nick and I couldn't figure out whether The Garret or the Five Guys had been in the space first, but whichever one moved into the space most recently had clearly made a brilliant business decision. The Garret is also, despite its secret nature, incredibly popular, and was already hopping even thought it was fairly early on a Wednesday.

A cool location isn't the only thing The Garret has going for it. They take cocktails very seriously and have a really unusual menu of house cocktails. My first drink of the night--called The First Lady--had a cool green color and was made with matcha green tea powder and basil. The bartender was also clearly having a great time, and putting on a bit of a show as he put the drinks together.

As Nick and I sipped our cocktails (Nick got a yummy Pisco Punch), we drew the cards to find out the drink I'd soon be ordering. And, the winner was...

Dr. Rooty's Bark's Mysterious Bedazzlement!

I approached the bartender, and he agreed to do it, although the complicated name definitely threw him a bit. But, especially considering the quality of our first drinks, I was ready for a drink that would be intriguing and bedazzling. And also probably made with root beer. My bartender didn't seem to be as optimistic. "It might be gross," he warned me. "That's okay. Like I said, I'll be happy no matter what," I told him. After not too long, he placed the drink in front of me. I asked if I could know the ingredients. He grinned, and simply said, "No."

The Drink:

???

???

???

???

Something red drizzled on top 

Assessment of Drink: It was pretty clear upon tasting the drink that there was no root beer. And I kind of respected that. Based on the name "Dr. Rooty Bark," both Nick and I thought that there would definitely be root beer. And while it's possible there simply wasn't anything root beer-flavored behind the bar, I admired that this bartender didn't go the easy way out. Instead, to convey Dr. Rooty Bark, he painstakingly spelled out the letters "Dr." on the top with some sort of red liquid.

The rest of the drink was difficult to place. It was fruity, but more sour than sweet. My first guess was that there might be something grapefruit-flavored in it. I also had a feeling there was egg white. The drink was very creamy, which often indicated egg white, and I knew that several drinks on the menu used this ingredient (including The First Lady which I'd already ordered). But beyond that, it was hard to place. And I had no idea what sort of alcohol was used. The drink tasted good, but I'll be honest, as I drank it I wasn't really thinking about the quality. I just wanted to know what was in it!

At the end of the night, I asked the bartender one more time if he would tell me the ingredients and he finally gave in.

Vodka

Egg White

Lemon

Passion Fruit

Bitters drizzled on top to spell "Dr"

This made sense. I was right about the egg white! And while my guess of "grapefruit" was wrong, the Passion Fruit explained the sour fruity flavor. And the fact that it was vodka made up for how hard it was to identify the base alcohol. It also explained my thoughts on the drink itself; those thoughts being, "It was fine." Really, the cocktail just wasn't that exciting or memorable, especially considering how innovative the rest of the cocktail menu was. But it was perfectly adequate, and quite well-made.

Does It Live Up To The Name: The most obvious way that this drink met the name was with the mystery part. I loved that the bartender wouldn't tell me the name, as it definitely made the drink a mysterious one. And the fact that the Passion Fruit was so difficult to identify certainly made it a good mystery--had it simple been lemon, it would have been a lot easier to identify. I also appreciated that he went the extra mile by actually writing "Dr" on the top of the drink.

But, I can't help but feel like more could have been done. The drink itself wasn't all that mysterious or bedazzling. Quite frankly, he could have made ANYTHING and his idea of not telling me the ingredients still would have worked. And also, while I did like the writing--and also have already mentioned that I appreciated him not immediately going for the root beer--in some ways, writing Dr on top was a bit of a cop out. The actual substance of the cocktail didn't ultimately have anything to do with the name--its success at living up to the name had to do with everything my bartender did EXCEPT the drink itself.

And that's kind of disappointing because this was a promising name. The word "Bedazzlement" is a great one. I remember when I ordered a cocktail called Honey Milked From the Teats of Zeus, and that bartender admitted that he simply wanted to make the most delicious drink he could. I kind of felt that way here. I think this was a chance for this highly capable bartender to wow me. Instead, the drink was good, but not great.

All that being said, I still really appreciate this bartender's efforts. And, like I said, the first drinks Nick and I got were fantastic. Even if they hadn't been, I would still have been a huge fan of The Garret. It's a great location, and it has the atmosphere to match its intriguing spot. I'll definitely be returning at some point in the future.

But, Nick and I weren't done just yet. We had cast one spell to get a creative drink, and we wanted to do one more before the night was over. So we headed over to a new bar and got a different drink. Read about it in Part II, coming soon!