Drink 38: The Curse of the Oyster Bar (Part I)

The Name: The Curse of the Oyster Bar                                                                                

The Bar: Death & Co. (433 E. 6th Street, NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: I'm not a superstitious person by any means. I believe that most of the more mysterious things in the world can be explained, either through logic or plain chance. But even I have to admit that sometimes some weird things happen. Last year, for Halloween, I talked about one such weird thing: my mom's cat who seemingly came back from the dead. This year, my Halloween drink is about another odd occurrence: a seafood restaurant that seemed to have a specific curse targeting my family.

Near the apartment where I grew up, there used to be a restaurant called Dock's Oyster Bar and Seafood Grill. That particular restaurant closed a few years ago but they do have another location in the city. The food is very good, especially if you like seafood. But when it closed, my parents and I rejoiced. Because it seemed like every time we went to Dock's something terrible happened.

And I don't mean little things, like we'd lose a lucky penny or something. I mean big things. Really major, horrible things. And they would happen typically within a day and a half of us going to Dock's.

The curse began before I was born. While my mom was pregnant with me, my parents moved into a bigger apartment in expectation of baby Miles. To celebrate their new apartment, they decided to go to Dock's as they'd heard it was supposed be a good, slightly more upscale neighborhood place. The next morning, less than 24 hours after their first time at Dock's, they did a walk-through of their new place, and my mom slipped and broke her shoulder. 

 A few years later, one of my mother's cousins was visiting New York City with his family. My mom and this particular cousin had always been close, and my parents were more than happy to host them. They decided to go to Dock's. While there, my mom and her cousin got into a huge argument that completely ended their friendship. They haven't spoken since. 

A few years later, we went to Dock's again. The next day, my dad was fired from his job unexpectedly.

It was around this point that we started to feel there might be a trend. The meal at Dock's was always perfectly fine, but it just seemed like trouble followed us whenever we left the restaurant. And it's not like we went to Dock's a lot and sometimes bad things happened, bad things happened to our family EVERY SINGLE TIME  WE WENT. Almost like clockwork. After my dad lost his job, I think we really became aware of just how worrying this trend was. We started piecing together the various horrendous occurrences that seemed to accompany every meal. There were more, by the way, the ones I've mentioned here are just the ones that immediately come to mind. I'm not sure, but I think that one time we went, and the next day learned that a relative had died. The whole thing became a joke to us. We'd walk by Dock's and go, "We're never going THERE again" and we'd laugh because obviously the restaurant couldn't REALLY have been cursed...could it?

One year, when I was in middle school, my parents, my grandma, and I were going to go out to dinner on Valentine's Day. We decided to throw caution to the wind and try Dock's again. "Hopefully nothing bad will happen, haha!" we said. My mom called and made a reservation. This was on February 12th.

The next day, February 13th, I broke my leg in gym class.

With my freshly broken leg, I was in a tremendous amount of pain, but I didn't want to ruin the evening's plans, so on the 14th we went to Dock's. My parents wheeled me over on my grandma's walker. They were doing construction work on the streets so the streets were particularly bumpy. My leg throbbed in pain at every bump in the road. We had a nice meal at Dock's, even though I could hardly eat anything because the pain was too distracting. We joked that at least this time, the horrible thing that usually accompanied our Dock's meals had already happened!

Two days later, my grandma had a stroke and had to be admitted to the hospital.

We never went to Dock's again.

This grey awning haunts my nightmares.

It is worth noting that the food there is great. And if you are worried about the curse somehow following you, you should know that the curse never seemed to affect anyone else. We know multiple people who would eat there with no negative side effects, so if there was some sort of supernatural hex associated with Dock's Oyster Bar and Seafood Grill, it was very specifically trained on my parents and I. And the curse seems to have ended once Dock's closed and changed locations. My mom has been to the restaurant that now occupies the space multiple times for lunch and we've never observed anything happening. Still, the curse of Dock's remains ever-present in our family. It was simply too reliable to just be a coincidence. Truly horrendous things happened to us every single time we went there. The oyster bar must have been cursed. Like a particularly bad Final Destination movie.

Ordering The Drink: I met my good friend Arun, who has accompanied me for several drinks in the past, at a bar called Death & Co. I've wanted to go here for a while. I've heard consistently amazing things about this bar, and have often been tempted to be their signature cocktail cookbook which is often considered one of the best guides for the budding home mixologist. Plus, with a name like Death & Co., I figured this would be the perfect place for a spooky Halloween drink.

Death & Co. is very sleek and sophisticated and cool. The suspenders-clad bartenders clearly know what their doing, and the drink menu is superbly laid out. It's divided by spirit--the whiskey drinks, the tequila drinks, the gin drinks, etc., and also designated which drinks are shaken and stirred. The sheer number of cool cocktails is staggering, but they make it easy to navigate, and easy to actually figure out what you want since everything sounds so delicious. Plus, the menu is decorated with various famous quotes about drinking, and some cute illustrations.

I arrived before Arun, and ordered a drink called The Waning Moon. Every drink I had at Death & Co. was wonderful, but this one was by far my favorite. The bartender called it "fall in a glass," and it had lovely flavors of apple and maple and lemon and whiskey and, most intriguingly, pine. As the bar wasn't too hectic, the bartender talked to me a bit about how they got the pine flavor in--using a pine tree brandy called Eaux de Vie Douglas Fir. It was really neat, and both this drink and the entire menu made me really excited to see what he would come up with for my custom drink. All in all, Arun and I were having a really great time at Death & Co. Especially when we got some truly delicious truffle mac and cheese.

After two drinks, we decided to go for the custom drink. There were two guys working the bar, and the one who had been making drinks for us was helping someone else, so the second guy came up to us and asked if we were ready. I launched into my usual spiel when I order drinks for this blog. "I have a bit of a weird request, and you can feel free to say no if you want to and I'll order something else. But I was hoping you could make me a drink based on the name of a cocktail. So, the cocktail doesn't exist yet, and you can put anything in it that you want as long as you think it would fit that name. Would you be willing to do it?"

When I finished, he was glaring at me slightly, shaking his head no, and said, "No. Order something off the menu."

"You're not going to do it?" I asked.

"Absolutely not."

I thought back to the other bartender, who had been very friendly and had talked to me about the Waning Moon and the pine.

"Can I ask him?" I asked.

"You can try, but he's going to say the same thing I did."

I decided to not risk pissing both of the bartenders off, so I ordered another cocktail off the menu--called the Blood & Thunder--which ended up being absolutely delicious. The bartender was incredibly friendly and polite for the entire evening.

So, I got rejected. After 38 drinks and almost two years, this is only my third time being rejected (I haven't written about one of the rejections yet--soon though--but you can read about my first drink rejection here) so getting rejected is a pretty rare occurrence. I have to say I was quite surprised. Sometimes I go to order the drink and think, "They might really not be into this...," but not at Death & Co. I not only thought that they would make the drink, but I was expecting one of the best drinks I'd ever get for this blog, considering their clear passion for cocktails. The reason I find this blog fun--and the reason it seems other bartenders have had a lot of fun with the premise--is because it's meant to be a celebration of cocktails. It's a fun little challenge where the bartender is encouraged to be inspired and to play. It's clear from the craftsmanship of the cocktails that the bartenders were up to the challenge, and it's clear from the menu that this is a place that thinks outside the box when it comes to classic cocktails. My weird little game seemed like it should have been right up their alley.

  

But it wasn't. And I can't blame them for that. I always say right at the outset that they can say no if they want to, and he was quite ready to use that out. I didn't push him for an explanation for why he was saying no, but my guess is that this cocktail menu has been carefully crafted and that by ordering from off the menu he felt like it was a slap in the face. Almost as if I was saying "I know you have an award-winning cocktail menu, but I think you can do better."And I hope he didn't take it as an insult because, of course, it wasn't meant in that way.

If I had asked the other bartender, maybe he would have done it. I don't know. I was certainly disappointed that Death & Co. didn't want to participate in What's That Drink, but I understand. And every drink that Arun and I had was quite incredible (we closed out the night by each getting a vintage egg nog prepared in the classic style, which were pretty excellent). I certainly recommend Death & Co. as a great bar in the city...just don't try and order off the menu. But, with a menu as great as theirs, you have more than enough options.

It seemed like the curse of Dock's was following me for one last time and preventing me from getting my custom drink! Luckily, a couple night later, I had another chance to try The Curse of the Oyster Bar, and this time I was able to get a drink. Read part II here!

Drink 20: The Sinister Minister

The Name: The Sinister Minister                                                                              

The Bar: WXOU Radio Bar (558 Hudson St., New York City) and White Horse Tavern (567 Hudson St., New York City)

The Story Behind The Name:  

Sadly, this post has nothing to do with this fantastic typo from Australian television a while back. I hope you enjoy it anyway.

As mentioned in some previous posts, I work as a magic toy salesman. And as such, some days, I work at the Toys R Us in Times Square. The largest toy store in the world, it's a pretty remarkable place, filled with a functional ferris wheel, an animatronic T-Rex, and tons of stuff that are probably super exciting to kids who walk through the store. But as fun as the store is, once one becomes familiar with the store, it starts to feel remarkably mundane. It's, ultimately, just like any other workplace (although, again, most workplaces don't have a T-Rex). Behind the scenes, the job has perks and frustrations just like any other job. And nowhere is this more apparent than when you step into the Toys R Us breakroom. Which is a breakroom just like any other office breakroom. Which means it is a rather depressing place.

 The only real amenity in the dimly lit breakroom is a television. Now, theoretically, anyone can change the channel on this thing, but as I don't actually work for the store, I don't typically feel like I should. And, it seems, neither does anyone else in the store. Because of this, I have never actually seen anyone change the channel, and it typically stays the same throughout the day. Which means that there are only a handful of things ever on the screen, and most of them are pretty terrible. But I get excited when the Toys R Us breakroom television is on one particular channel: the Investigation Discovery Channel.

The channel SO EXCITING that they couldn't come up with a tagline other than just saying the name of the channel.

Now, I don't have any television feed and simply rely on Hulu and Netflix and other sites for my television viewing needs, so I did not know about the Investigation Discovery Channel until I worked at Toys R Us, and I am so glad that someone who works there likes their programming, because it is amazing. And by amazing I mean terrible. All of their shows are documentaries about "true crime" stories-- various shows about criminals and the people who catch them. Which is fine, and I will admit that some of their shows are probably well done. But, what makes me find this channel really amusing is that there are only so many shows that they can really create. Like, when you make documentary shows about crimes, it doesn't give you much variety. On other non-fiction channels, like National Geographic, PBS, History Channel, or TLC--you know, back when TLC made actual shows that a real person would watch like Trading Spaces and not shows with titles like Breaking Amish: Los Angeles which is actually a show on a channel that calls itself The Learning Channel and that makes me sad-- there's at least a broad range of subjects one can cover. 

In this moment, the Cake Boss realized what his life had become. He was an artist once. He made people happy with his confectionary creations. Now...now, he's on TLC.

But, on Investigation Discovery, it's ONLY crime documentaries. Nothing else. And because of this, Investigation Discovery offers a bunch of shows that are the exact same show-- which follow a basic theme of how a crime was committed and, subsequently, solved-- but with a SLIGHT variation. And, I have to say, the fact that they have come up with some of these shows demonstrates a lot of creativity on the part of the Investigation Discovery executives. There's the show I (Almost) Got Away With It which is told from the perspective of the criminal as opposed to the law enforcement.  There's the show Motive which tells you how a crime was committed but doesn't reveal why until the very end of the hour. Which is really funny because it's usually obvious. There will be opening narration like "Mr. Moneybanks McRichguy was killed by his only son and sole inheritor who received the entirety of his vast fortune. But...what could his motive have been? Could it have been the money? Or...something else entirely?"

Hint: it's not the second option.

One of the worst shows is called I Was Murdered (which is much less ridiculous, albeit much blunter than its original title Stolen Voices; Buried Secrets) which is told from the victim's perspective. And by that, I mean, it is actually narrated by an actor pretending to be the victim. Which I think we can all agree is incredibly disrespectful. "I was a loving wife. An attentive mother. I had a happy life. But all of that was cut short when I was killed. Did my murderers know that I was planning to go to Costa Rica in a month?" NO. NO THEY DID NOT, VOICE ACTRESS, BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT THIS PERSON. AND ALSO BECAUSE YOU JUST TOLD US THEY WERE RANDOM ROBBERS WHO BROKE IN.

In general, the Investigation Discovery channel is a wonderful blend of being slightly informative, but also just incredibly trashy, and I must say that its bad reenactments and overly dramatic narrations are just remarkably entertaining. I'm pretty sure that they have used the same stories (and, most likely, the same footage) for all of these different shows too.

But, for all of my badmouthing, Investigation Discovery also offers my favorite television show of all time. More than Breaking Bad. More than Arrested Development. My favorite show is called...Sinister Ministers.

See?! It's a real show! And the tagline is "Collared" which makes me really happy.

Full disclosure, I have never seen a single episode of this show, but the very fact that it exists fills me with joy. I laughed out loud when I saw a commercial for it. The show is about priests who did illegal things, and that's obviously not what makes me happy. It's JUST the title. Because you KNOW that they were filming an episode about a criminal priest and then someone realized that "sinister" and "minister" rhymed. And then they said "Wait, we can't just waste that. We need to make this into a show." And that's what they did. Because Investigation Discovery are true pioneers in the golden age of television. Somebody give these folks a Peabody.

As I said, I've never seen this show, and I never plan to. I probably wouldn't care for it if I did. But, in the meantime, let's just be glad that this rhyming title exists and that they just went for it.

Ordering The Drink: As I said in my last post, I'm doing a month of Halloween-themed drinks (I figured the "sinister" part of this drink name made it appropriate) and wanted to go to some haunted bars to order drinks. One bar that consistently came up when I researched haunted bars in NYC was White Horse Tavern. White Horse Tavern is a rather famous bar in Greenwich Village, which was once frequented by some of New York's most prominent literary figures, including but not limited to Bob Dylan, Anais Nin, Norman Mailer, Hunter S. Thomas, and Jack Kerouac. But the figure most commonly associated with the tavern is Dylan Thomas who, it is alleged, had a drink there the night that he died. If that's not spooky enough, it is said that he haunts the bar, and people have reported seeing him sitting at his usual table having a drink.

It is also said that Thomas haunts the Chelsea Hotel. Which might make more sense since, you know, that's where he actually died.

Because of this, I purposefully set out to have a drink at the White Horse Tavern this month. It's a hopping place-- and while it is often visited by tourists due to its famous past clientele, it doesn't feel particularly touristy, which is a plus. I took a seat at the bar and, as always, told the bartender that I had an unusual request, and wondered if he could make me a drink based solely on a name. He looked away for a second, considered, and then said, "No."

Now, I've always known that, if I did this blog long enough, I would eventually meet a bartender who wanted nothing to do with this. Bartenders have to put up with a lot, after all, and I can see how it would be a bit of an annoying request (which is why I always leave a substantial tip and try to be as polite and unobtrusive as possible). But, nonetheless, I was a bit surprised to meet with my first refusal.

"No?" I asked.

"Not tonight," he said. I said that was fine, and ordered a cider (which was very cheaply priced and came in a huge glass which was great). The bartender later explained that, apparently, I had "missed the excitement," and something had happened right before I arrived (he didn't elaborate, but my guess is it probably involved drunk people), so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt and say that on another night, he might have made the drink for me. And he was perfectly pleasant otherwise, and never came across as rude. Still, I found the rejection fairly disappointing, as I have received a regularly positive response elsewhere. I finished my cider and took my leave-- with no sign of Dylan Thomas' ghost.

But, I still wanted my drink. And, as I stood on the street, I could hear the sound of bar ambience. Directly across from the street from the White Horse Tavern, I saw a sign.

This sign, in fact.

I entered the establishment-- which, as the sign says, is called WXOU Radio Bar-- and had high hopes. It felt like a pretty standard dive bar-- that sort of comfortable, reliable, place that every neighborhood needs. As one would expect from a place with "radio" in the title, the music was fantastic, with a jukebox full of old-time, feel-good classics prominently on display. The place was smaller than White Horse Tavern, but was similarly bustling, but the clientele did seem to be more neighborhood locals as opposed to tourists. Which was a great sign.

None of these people are looking at maps or wearing "I <3 NY" paraphernalia, so, yeah, probably not tourists.

Once I asked the bartender if he'd be willing to make a drink for me based solely on the name, he sighed a little bit and looked kind of frustrated. He considered the request for a while, and I was genuinely worried I would be turned down for the second time that night. "What is this for?" he asked, suspiciously. At this point, I was most certainly not going to tell him that I run a blog because I had a feeling he would just kick me out then and there, so I lied and said it was "just for fun," and assured him that I would really be happy no matter what. Ultimately, he agreed, and I gave him the name "Sinister Minister." He set about making the drink...but not before double checking that this wasn't a pre-existing drink. He seemed to think I might be testing him but, I assured him I was not.

The Drink:

The Sinister Minister-- the white ring on top is, to me, the minister's collar but that was definitely unintentional.

Rye

Captain Morgan Spiced Rum

Orange Juice

Cranberry Juice

Sour Mix

finished with Ginger Ale and Club Soda, with a Lime garnish

 

Assessment of Drink: My bartender, after getting over his suspicion concerning my drink order, loosened up quite a bit and I think (and hope) he enjoyed making the drink. After he set it down and explained the drink and its ingredients, he joked "Now, that'll be thirty-eight dollars." He also seemed very concerned about his creation-- apologetically saying that he had never made the drink before so he really had no idea what it was like. He tried a tiny bit with a straw, though, and seemed to think it was okay. Later, after I had finished half of it, he returned and asked me how it was, saying "I hope it's drinkable." Poor guy. He really seemed to not want to let me down.

I wanted a picture of my bartender, but, again, was pretty fearful about getting thrown out/judged so I tried to take it sneakily and it ended up being a really bad picture.

And he didn't let me down at all! I thought this was a really good drink. It had a lot more going on in it than in a standard cocktail you get in a divey bar like this. I liked all of the flavors individually, but didn't know how these would work together. But I thought that the rye and the spiced rum really worked together well-- the spiciness bringing out the subtler tones of the rye, while the fruit juices added some necessary sweetness (although, I would not describe this as a "sweet" drink at all-- probably due to the tart cranberry).

But, this drink was, admittedly, imperfect. I feel like by playing with proportions a bit more, this one would be perfected but, as is, it was definitely serviceable but needed a bit more fine-tuning. The big thing was the sour mix. Now, I'm a fan of sour mix (my drink of choice when I'm not ordering drinks with weird names is a Whiskey Sour, after all) but in this case it was out of place and a little bit too overpowering. With a little less sour mix, it might have worked really well, but with so many flavors working with each other, the sour mix seemed to stand out and that was unfortunate, because it masked a lot of the other nice flavors going on. And, which finishing the cocktail with club soda was necessary (more on that in a bit) it watered down the drink a little bit too much. Had the rye and the rum been a bit more prominent, I think this could have been a truly excellent drink. As is, it was still very nice, and definitely lifted my spirits for the evening.

Does It Live Up To The Name: I had wondered how this drink would turn out, and figured there were many ways one could go. And my bartender at WXOU Radio had a great solution and used the tried-and-true strategy of building upon a pre-existing cocktail. In this case, he used The Presbyterian, which is whiskey, finished with ginger ale and club soda. As he explained the drink, he seemed to not stand by this, saying the jump was "a leap," but, to me, this explanation works really well. And, since the rye, ginger ale, and club soda represent the Presbyterian minister, that means the other ingredients must be the "sinister" part of the equation. And I thought this was great. The spiced rum is not just any spiced rum, it was Captain Morgan, and pirates are DEFINITELY sinister. And the tartness of the sour mix and, especially, the cranberry juice (as well as the devilish red color that it loans the drink) could definitely be perceived as "sinister" too. That means the only superfluous ingredient here is the orange juice

The most sinister of all beverages.

So, in general, I thought this was one of the best interpretations of the name that I've gotten for this blog. And, like I said, tasted good to boot. All in all, I had a much better time at WXOU Radio Bar than at the White Horse Tavern. It may not have the literary history or name recognition, but if you're ever in the neighborhood, give WXOU a shot. Good drinks, good music, and a good time had by all. Nothing sinister about that.