Drink 11: The Lord of Sealand

The Name: The Lord of Sealand                                                                                 

The Bar: The Dead Poet (450 Amsterdam Avenue, NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: Some of you might know about Sealand. If you do not already, then be prepared: Sealand is about to become your favorite place in the world.

Not to be confused with the terrifying murder park known as SeaWorld, Sealand is a principality off the coast of England which has a rather interesting history. If you want a full detailed description of the principality, you can check out its hilarious wikipedia page here. But I'll be describing all of the highlights here if you don't feel like skimming the full article. What makes Sealand so great? Well, you remember that episode of Family Guy-- back when it was actually a good show-- where Peter discovers that due to a mapping error, his house does not technically fall on U.S. territory and so he declares it its own nation? Well, Sealand is kind of like that. By which I mean it is exactly like  that, but even crazier. To start, Sealand is not actually land at all-- it's a manmade pontoon which was built to be used as a radio tower during WWII.

The majestic nation of Sealand.

That picture is actually a picture of this place.

After maps were being redrawn in the wake of WWII, it's understandable that no one actually claimed the random floating radio station as being part of their territory. Therefore, the radio station went unclaimed and forgotten. Forgotten, that is, until a British army major and pirate radio broadcaster named Paddy Roy Bates moved his family to the radio station and declared it its own nation. The nation of Sealand.

Bates and his wife Joan, holding Sealand's flag.

Now, this may sound ridiculous...and it is. But the thing that makes it more ridiculous is that there's nothing anyone can do to stop him. Technically, the radio station is not owned by anyone. So, technically, Paddy Roy Bates was completely correct-- this manmade pontoon which is only 13 kilometers long qualifies as its own nation. Britain even took him to court to try and prove otherwise and the BRITISH COURT DECIDED THAT THEY DID NOT HAVE JURISDICTION OVER THE AREA. So, the British judicial system itself agrees that Bates is technically correct and it's his own nation. This kind of pisses Britain off-- a nation which is known for once conquering, like, everyone now cannot even takeover an old cantankerous radio DJ and his family. At one point they even sent armed naval ships to the radio tower to ask Bates and his family to leave. But Bates just said no and there was nothing they could do about it so they had to leave. Paddy Roy Bates stood down a navy.

Despite the fact that legally, everything about Sealand is completely sound and it's technically its own nation, it is not recognized by a single world government. Government leaders, presumably, cite the fact that "It's a fucking radio tower" as their reason for not recognizing the nation.

They even have their own currency! The currency is not accepted anywhere other than in Sealand. Sealand has no shops in which you could spend money.

To make things even funnier, Britain isn't the only nation which has claimed ownership over Sealand. At one point, a German lawyer named Alexander Achenbach, who served as Sealand's prime minister and held a Sealand passport, felt that Sealand should be his. Along with a team of German and Dutch forces, he attacked Sealand in an attempt to take it over. It should be noted that Achenbach's small army attacked on speedboats and jet skis. Things got pretty intense-- and the forces went so far as to kidnap Bates' son Michael and hold him hostage. Yeah. I warned you it was intense. Achenbach was tried with treason against the Sealand government and fined 75,000 Deutsche marks. Achenbach, backed by the governments of The Netherlands, Germany, and Austria, appealed to the British courts to overturn this fine, but were unable to successfully do so. Because, again, the U.K. had to admit that they have no jurisdiction at all over this nation.

By the way, Achenbach still claims to be the rightful leader of Sealand and has established his own government, called the Sealand Rebel Government. So...Sealand has not one, but two governments. Beautiful.

They even applied to the U.N. for nation status. The U.N. has yet to vote on their membership status-- because if they did, they might actually have to accept that there's no legal reason to deny them membership. So, they've just chosen not to vote.

As a reminder, the nation in question looks like this.

Here are some other fun facts about Sealand:

• It has its own national anthem, although said anthem does not have any words. 
• When tourists visit Sealand, its population doubles.
• As they have no room for athletic arenas, training grounds, or, frankly, any actual athletes, Sealand obviously has no official sports teams. However, various individual athletes and teams have competed in the name of Sealand-- therefore being "official Sealand athletes." In 2006, a Canadian named Michael Martelle officially represented Sealand in the World Cup of Kung Fu, and won two silver medals-- meaning that Sealand was represented on an official athletic podium. A Sealand team also placed 11th at the 2010 U.K. Ultimate Frisbee National Championships.
• But the best sports news regarding Sealand is that they have a national curling team founded in 2012 which plays out of Minnesota. Also, the official sport of Sealand is mini-golf.
• A mountaineer with the awesome name of Kenton Cool placed Sealand's flag at the summit of Mount Everest last May.
• And, lastly, in 2006, the platform caught fire due to an electrical failure. Making it the only nation in history that has ever almost burned down. Luckily, the fire was put out. By a tugboat.

 

Sealand on fire.

Clearly, I love Sealand. The second I learned about it, I was fascinated. Quite frankly, the fact that Sealand exists makes me so unbelievably happy. There's something so magical about the fact that this could happen-- that a radio tower can legally claim itself to be its own nation and that no governing body has any ability to deny it. It makes the world seem more wondrous and full of possibilities-- that anything could happen. If Sealand exists, perhaps centaurs do too? You really never know.

The entire population of Sealand waves to a plane overhead.

I try to tell as many people as humanly possible about the existence of Sealand, so that they may experience the same joy that it has brought me. If you and I have a conversation for long enough, eventually I will start telling you about Sealand.

And then, my freshman year of college, the greatest thing ever happened. You see, as a source of revenue, people may purchase various titles which can be bestowed upon them by the Sealand government. Clearly aware of my infatuation with the magical floating radio tower, some friends found this out and, as a birthday present, my wonderful friends Charley and Mara bought me a Lordship.

This means that I am, officially, a Lord of Sealand. It is my proudest accomplishment in life and I did absolutely nothing to achieve it. Which makes this Lordship fit very much with the spirit of Sealand, no?

Ordering The Drink: My friend Kenny and I were out at The Dead Poet-- my personal favorite bar in my neighborhood on the Upper West Side. While a bit small, this place just has a great vibe, and a really awesome literary theme. It's decorated with quotes from famous authors about alcohol, and features a special list of cocktails named after dead poets (my personal favorite drink to get is the Walt Whitman).

At first, I was not planning on ordering a drink for this blog, having made a post so recently, but I decided that I had to after meeting our server, Liam. Liam is awesome-- he had a great and quirky energy and was just a lot of fun. He even brought us free popcorn!

Kenny inhales the popped corn.

Seriously, Liam is the greatest. We're facebook friends now. Not even kidding. Liam, if you're reading this, then hi! You're famous now!

I knew immediately that he'd be on board for taking a weird drink request, and have been wanting to order a drink by this name for a while, so I decided to go for it. Sure enough, Liam accepted the request without hesitation and passed the order onto the bartender, a guy named Tim.

In just what might truly be the worst picture I've taken for this blog, Liam gives our drink order to Tim. Liam is the one blob talking to the other blob.

 Not too long after, the drink came out, served in one of the Dead Poet's custom glasses. Fun fact-- they have a drink called The Dead Poet which is served in a customized Dead Poet glass which you get to keep!

The Drink:

Crown Royal Whiskey

Ginger Ale

Lime

Assessment of Drink:When the drink was first set down Kenny wondered if it was the same as the one that he had ordered, just in a different glass.

The Tennessee Williams and the Lord of Sealand, together at last.

But they were, of course, very different (the Tennessee Williams, by the way, is a traditional sweet tea and vodka). My first impression of the Lord of Sealand is that it is quite refreshing! The Crown Royal pairs well with ginger ale, and the lime is a nice acidic touch-- not overpowering but there's definitely a pleasant hint of it. There's not too much to say about this one, to be honest. It was good. Crisp. Would order again.

Not only would I order it again, but I've had it in the past. You see, this particular blended whiskey is known to go specifically well with ginger ale, so this cocktail is already rather well-known under the apt name of Crown & Ginger. So I've had this drink before and had enjoyed it before. And this one was very well done-- good job, Tim.

I'm actually not that surprised to have received a drink which already existed. I mentioned that The Dead Poet features drinks named after dead poets-- but these are not new cocktails. Many of them are already pre-existing cocktails which have been assigned to various poets. Whitman is a Long Island Iced Tea, Dylan Thomas is a dirty martini, Langston Hughes is a sidecar, etc. So, it makes sense to me that this drink would not be completely new and never seen before.

Does It Live Up To The Name: Now, you might remember that the last time I received a previously-existing drink, I was rather disappointed at the lack of originality. But that's because the drink had very little to do with the name, and so it felt lazy. In this case, the drink really works. The Crown Royal is a great way to imply the title of Lordship. "Crown," get it? And the lime feels tropical, and puts one in mind of the seaside (hence, Sealand). And, remember, the bartender doesn't ever know the story behind the name-- just the name itself-- so to the tie-in to the sea is a pretty good way of handling this. That's what I like about The Dead Poet's drinks-- these are tried and true cocktails, but they're made well and, more importantly, the poets assigned to each drink make sense (the jazz-age cocktail the Sidecar, for example, is a great fit for Hughes, and a Mississippi Mud martini is an obvious fit for Mark Twain). 

So, this might not be the most inventive drink I've gotten for this blog thus far, but it still tasted great and was a strong fit for the name. Both the "Lord" and "Sealand" were represented. All in all, a great drink, which left me with few complaints. Many thanks to Liam and Tim for providing one of the more successful drinks on this list. And, as an added bonus, Crown Royal whiskey is a Canadian brand-- and, if you remember, many of Sealand's official athletes are Canadian. So, unwittingly, the actual principality of Sealand got to be represented here anyway.

And now, to end this post, I'll end with a poem from the esteemed dead poet, Dorothy Parker:

I like to have a martini

Two at the very most

After three, I'm under the table

After four I'm under my host

Cheers, and may God bless the great nation of Sealand.