Drink 28: Don't Laugh

The Name: Don't Laugh                                                                                

The Bar: Monkey Bar (60 E. 54th st., NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: I have an important mission for you. Are you ready? Don't laugh.

I'm serious. Don't laugh.

You can do anything else that you want, as long as you don't laugh. Here. I'll help you out 

This was the least funny thing I could think of.

Are you laughing? If not, then that's good because you shouldn't laugh. If you are laughing, then you better stop because you're not allowed to laugh. Don't laugh.

I don't know if you are laughing or not. Probably not (after all, I made you think about Daniel Tosh so now you probably won't laugh for another hour). But nonetheless, I'm sure we've all been in a situation where we have laughed simply because someone told us not to. Something about hearing the words "don't laugh" will automatically make us giggle, or at least smile. It's not too strange of a concept. It's like the infamous "church giggles." If we're laughing during an inappropriate situation, it's only going to make us laugh more. I'm pretty sure every single person reading this knows what I'm talking about to some extent.

But I have a friend named Elizabeth who takes this to new extremes. Elizabeth and I went to high school together where I was her coach on the speech team, and it was then that I discovered that she is incapable of NOT laughing anytime someone says the words "don't laugh." For whatever reason, those words have more of an affect on her than the average person. I tested this phenomenon at every opportunity, and it worked every single time. There didn't have to be any context. I could just say "Hey, Elizabeth. Don't laugh," and sure enough she would start laughing. I think it became a sort of Pavlovian response at some point.

This, of course, was seven years ago, but it still holds true today. Elizabeth and I have stayed in touch over the years and every single time I see her, I am sure to at one point, politely request that she not laugh. And it continues to have the same affect.

Over the years I have tried to see if this would work with other people. I have a friend from college (coincidentally also named Elizabeth) who laughs every time someone says "Kangaroo." I myself will let out an undignified giggle anytime someone pokes me, a la the Pillsbury Doughboy. I will similarly giggle should someone simply imply that they are going to poke me. Or says the word "poke." Or says the word "giggle."

But this isn't about me, this is about Elizabeth, who has been a fan of this blog and who has been wanting to join me for one of my What's That Drink excursions for a while now. And when we finally did, there was only one possible drink name we could order: a Don't Laugh.

Ordering The Drink: I made plans to meet Elizabeth and a few of her friends--Sean, Grace, Brian, and Rosie-- for drinks last week while Elizabeth was in the city, on break from college. We initially wanted to meet at a bar which we found out was closed for a private party. So we decided to walk elsewhere. I had heard of a bar in the neighborhood called Monkey Bar, which I'd heard had great drinks and great bar food, and which had occasionally shown up on "best cocktails in the city" lists. I'd been planning to get a drink here for a while, so that's where we all headed.

It was a really cute place--and there were monkeys everywhere. If you're afraid of monkeys, do not go here.

The monkey-themed mural on the restaurant's walls was whimsical, but hard to see considering how packed the place was when we were there.

It was quite pricey, and if you go here I definitely recommend going for cocktails. The beer list is very limited and incredibly pricey (ten dollars for Angry Orchard cider????) but the cocktails really are fantastic. My first drink, their version of a classic cocktail called The Monkey Gland, swapped the grenadine typically found in that drink with pomegranate molasses which was a fantastic improvement. It was perfectly made, and really showed off the bartender's chops.

Their interpretation of the Monkey Gland. Which tastes better than the name makes it sound.

The cocktail menu was really great. Everything sounded good (and was) but more than that, it was innovative. Like with adding pomegranate molasses to the Monkey Gland, the bartenders clearly put their individual twist on every drink. Why have a hot toddy, typically made with whiskey, when you can get a sweeter autumnal flavor by making a toddy with Calvados, an apple brandy? A classic Mint Julep became a Jersey Julep, made with applejack instead of regular bourbon. The cocktails were sophisticated, but playful, and unique. It left me with high hopes for when I ordered the "Don't Laugh." If anyone would be up for the challenge, it would be the team at The Monkey Bar.

We munched on truffled corn fritters with thyme honey (which were delicious) and the waiter came to take our order for the second round of drinks. I explained that I wanted a drink called the Don't Laugh, and he said he'd pass it on to the bartender. When it came time for Elizabeth to get a drink she said "I'd like a Don't Laugh too." Grace ordered a drink called the Grow a Pear that was absolutely beautiful.

Brian peers at the Grow a Pear with a fascinated gleam in his eye.

In a little bit, the waiter returned with the drinks and said "So, he actually made two different drinks," and placed two clearly distinct cocktails on the table. This was an exciting development. The Monkey Bar bartender had clearly gone above and beyond. I had never received two different cocktails for one drink! The waited enigmatically said "Let me know what you think, and I'll tell you what's in them when I get back." With no ingredients to go on, Elizabeth and I each selected the glass that happened to have been placed closest to us and took a sip.

The Drink (or, in this case, Drinks):

Two Don't Laughs.

Drink #1 (the one on the left):

Gin

Lemon Juice

Maraschino Liqueur

Chartreuse

Drink #2 (the one on the right):

Gin

Lemon Juice

Maraschino Liqueur

Creme de Violette

Assessment of Drink: Both were very well made, to be sure. The ingredients are very similar--with the only difference between them being chartreuse in one and creme de violette in the other, but it shows how, in a strong bartender's hands, similar ingredients can make vastly different drinks. Everyone tried both drinks, and none of us would have guessed how similar they truly were. And both were really good. Chartreuse is known for its assertive flavor, but it was perfectly balanced with the sweetness of the maraschino and the sourness of the lemon. The creme de violette, however, was more assertive in Drink #2. I couldn't immediately recognize the flavor of it, but once the waiter came back and told us it was creme de violette, it made perfect sense. Drink #1 was a more composed and unified drink, but Drink #2 had layers. You got different layers of flavor--like a Willy Wonka candy, the drink seemed to change in your mouth. At first, you tasted the gin, then you'd get some sweetness, then some sour, and then the creme de violette came on as a pleasant aftertaste. The creme de violette was the flavor that lingered on your tongue, and it showcased the liqueur better than I've ever had before. Including the last time I got creme de violette for a drink and that was when the word "Violet" was in the name!

All in all, the consensus of the table was that Drink #1 with the chartreuse was their favorite, but they found Drink #2 more interesting. I'd say it was a fair assessment. But both were quite delicious.

Does It Live Up To The Name: From just drinking the cocktails, it was not clear why either of these would be called the Don't Laugh, but since we didn't know the ingredients, we didn't have the full story. When our waiter returned, we excitedly asked what was in the drinks--perhaps it would clear up the mystery. He let us know. Not only did he tell us the ingredients, but he told us that they were, as he put it, "real cocktails." The one with creme de violette is called an Aviation, which I had heard of before, and the one with chartreuse is called The Last Word, which I had not heard of before. Upon hearing this, the delicious and well-crafted mystery cocktails suddenly became disappointing. Nothing about these drinks speaks to being a Don't Laugh. It would have been one thing if these were pre-existing cocktails whose names had something to do with the assigned name, but they didn't. At all. And the ingredients didn't either.

Because we were sitting at a table and I didn't order drinks from the bartender directly or get to talk to him, I'm not really sure what happened. It's possible that our bartender had a very good reason for serving us these drinks under the guise of the name "Don't Laugh." I have since read that The Last word was invented by a vaudevillian comedian named Frank Fogarty, so perhaps its creator's occupation was the inspiration. It's also possible that the bartender heard our request and went "Nope, not gonna do that" and gave us other cocktails instead. It's even possible that our waiter (who did seem somewhat humorless throughout the evening) didn't even pass on our request, and instead opted to tell our bartender that we wanted a bartender's choice drink, and he created the cocktails without knowing the prompt. I'm really not sure. And without knowing the whole story, it's hard for me to really know where things went wrong. But I do know one thing: neither of these drinks qualify as the "Don't Laugh" in my mind. In the past, I've gotten drinks that were already pre-existing cocktails, and it's always a bit disappointing, but usually there's a reason the bartender made me that drink based on the prompt. Sometimes the pre-existing cocktail actually makes sense for the name. But in this case, I just can't make the connection. The Frank Fogarty connection was the best thing I could come up with, but then why did they also make an Aviation?

When I get drinks for this blog, I know it's a weird request. And I'm usually fine if the bartender doesn't embrace the idea of it--they probably deal with all sorts of annoying requests all the time, so I can't blame them for that. But in this case, it was especially disappointing. I didn't think the "Don't Laugh" was too difficult a name, and considering the innovation and playfulness found in most of the cocktails on the menu, I had sort of set myself up for something extraordinary. And, in their own way, these cocktails were great. They were certainly well made, and all of us had a great time at Monkey Bar, but they really didn't live up to the spirit of this experiment.

I would absolutely go to Monkey Bar again, and see no reason to not recommend it. It's a fun place with really great food and exceptional drinks. I can see why it's considered by some as one of the best places for cocktails in the city. But with the particular set of parameters for this game of What's That Drink, it ended up being a surprisingly disappointing outing. It was like a post-2000 Eddie Murphy movie that way. And, much like the name of this drink suggests, that's something that will never leave you laughing.

Drink 27: The Shovel Shark

The Name: The Shovel Shark                                                                            

The Bar: Lot No. 3 (460 106th Ave NE, Bellevue, WA)

The Story Behind The Name: The name for this one isn't exactly an inside joke, since it comes from a television show, but it might as well be an inside joke because it comes from a show that no one has ever heard of. The show is called Lovespring International. I told you that no one has heard of it.

There are a few reasons that no one has ever heard of it. For one thing, it aired on the Lifetime Channel. For, like, no reason. Mostly improvised, a la shows like Curb Your Enthusiasm, Lovespring International followed a team who worked at a matchmaking service struggling to compete with eharmony.com. From there, things got a little stranger. The show, and the characters in it, were totally bizarre, and I imagine its humor is not everyone's cup of tea. But I would nonetheless suggest watching the show if you're able to find it. It has a tremendous cast, featuring lots of people who became much more famous after the show was unceremoniously canceled, including Wendi McLendon-Covey who you might know from Bridesmaids, Sam Pancake who you might know from Arrested Development, and Jane Lynch who you might know from being famous. Also on the show was Jennifer Elise Cox, who is not famous at the time of this writing, but who I still hope will become a household name because she is hilarious and absolutely steals the entire show.

The show is funny, but my personal favorite episode is the second one in the series, where Lydia (McLendon-Covey) helps a client named Roman (Will & Grace's Eric McCormack) who appears to be perfect in every way. He has dined with the Queen of England, shared a jail cell with Nelson Mandela, he's basically like if The Most Interesting Man in the World looked like...well, Eric McCormack. The premise of the episode is that, rather than any of the clients at Lovespring International, he instead falls in love with Lydia herself, and they bond over their mutual love for an endangered animal called The Shovel Shark. 

There is no such real creature as a Shovel Shark, but I believe this is called a Shovel-Nosed Shark and that's close enough.

At several points throughout the episode, Roman and Lydia perform "The Shovel Shark Salute," a very silly thing that you can and should watch here. My friend Mara and I, when we watched the show, found this particular moment disproportionately hilarious, and would often wordlessly and reverently salute each other in this manner. It's very goofy, but it's stuck, and despite being from the show, has taken on a life of its own. The shovel shark salute is our thing, dammit, and if Eric McCormack and Wendi-McLendon-Covey want to fight us for it than we're 100% up for that fight.

There's not much more to the story, to be honest. It's just one of those silly little things that catch on inexplicably. But the takeaway from this is that you should definitely check out Lovespring International if you can. It really is surprisingly hilarious and clever, and since no one has heard of it, you'll feel really cool and hipstery when you tell people about this great new show that they haven't heard of. Plus, as of this writing, it's on hulu!

I tried to find a good photo from the show, but...that was kind of difficult since it's so obscure so I chose this unflattering photo of the cast where less than half of them seem actually ready for the photo. But I promise it's good.

Ordering The Drink: Mara lives in Bellevue, WA, just a little outside of Seattle. During a recent visit, we decided to get one of my What's That Drink drinks together and see how a West coast bar would live up to the challenge. I let her choose the name and she wisely settled on The Shovel Shark. Plus, she told me she knew exactly the right bar for us to go to--a place that happened to be right next door to her apartment called Lot No. 3. We dorkily did the Shovel Shark Salute to each other, opened the doors, and went in.

Lot No. 3 is a fantastic bar and restaurant with great food (a housemade soft pretzel with bourbon maple peanut butter might be the very best bar snack of all time) and a great beer list. But the standout is undoubtedly their cocktails. As Mara put it before we arrived, the bartenders there take bartending VERY seriously. Several of them have stirring spoons tattooed onto their arms. One of the bartenders there actually won an award for his Manhattan competing against bartenders from Manhattan. So I had high hopes, and it seemed like the perfect place to feature on this blog considering I have mostly talked about bars in Manhattan up until now. Our night started off great--on top of the aforementioned pretzel our first round of cocktails was really incredible. The bartender with the award-winning Manhattan wasn't there that night so I couldn't get that one, so I ordered a drink called "Tom Waits Would Order This Drink." 

I will admit that, fittingly for someone who runs a blog such as this, I ordered this solely because of the name.

Appropriately for a drink referencing Tom Waits, it was a predominantly bitter drink, heavy on Amaro, but was balanced beautifully and didn't taste unpleasantly bitter at all. It was delicious and smooth--much more well-composed than I would have thought would have been possible with the choice of ingredients. Mara's first drink was similarly surprising. She ordered the Peanut Butter Jelly Time, and I was a bit skeptical. I figured either it would be disgusting, or it would taste nothing like peanut butter and jelly. But, no, our bartender (a friendly and animated guy named Chris--one of the ones with the stirring spoon tattoo) pulled it off. Made with peanut butter washed bourbon, jam, lime, and black walnut bitters, it tasted exactly how you'd want a peanut butter and jelly cocktail to taste--bringing out the nuttiness of the peanut butter and relegating the potentially too-sweet jelly flavor to a refreshingly fruity undertone. It was really great.

The Peanut Butter Jelly Time laughs in the face of my skepticism!

I was even more excited now. The house cocktails were very well-made, but they were also innovative and, more importantly, struck me as quite whimsical, which are the types of drinks that this blog seeks out. The time had come--I asked our bartender if he'd make me a drink called The Shovel Shark and explained the rules to him. Chris was immediately on board, but was also having a little bit of trouble coming up with a drink name. When he brought Mara her second drink (a curried dark and stormy which I thought was even better than the first two drinks we'd gotten) he apologized for the wait for me, but he was "still thinking." I told him to take his time.

Chris, filtering my drink.

At some point it became clear that inspiration struck. He started animatedly plucking bottles from various corners of the bar before setting about making the drink. He shook a cocktail, and then strained it. And then strained it again. And then strained it again. And then poured it through a giant coffee filter. And then poured it through another giant coffee filter. This drink was very involved and Mara and I were incredibly excited.

But we were even more excited once the drink was placed in front of us. It was one of the coolest things I'd ever seen.

The Drink:

Aquavit
Brennivín
Reyka Vodka
Swedish Punsch
Activated Charcoal
Lemon peel

Assessment of Drink: In case you can't tell, this drink is pitch black. I'd never seen a jet black drink before and it was just absolutely striking. Looking at the ingredients, it's obvious that this color came from the activated charcoal. Chris said he'd been wanting to use it in a drink for a long time and hadn't gotten a chance. It doesn't actually affect the flavor of the drink, but after it is strained out (hence the intensive straining process) it will dye the drink pitch black. Lot No. 3 changes their drink menu regularly, and Chris was saying that for the next one he wanted to make a very fruity and floral drink that would would expect to be bright and colorful, but then dye it black with the charcoal. I really hope he does this. I hope he just puts charcoal in every drink--it looks really really cool and is not like anything I've seen before. I've had bright green drinks, and I've had rainbow striped drinks, but as far as appearance, this is hands down the best-looking drink I've gotten for this blog to date.

And it tasted great too! Much like with the Tom Waits Would Order This Drink I'd had earlier, this was a very strong drink and had the potential to be completely overwhelmingly, but instead tasted delicious and surprisingly smooth. It had a nice licorice aftertaste, which is probably due to the Brennivín. I'd never heard of it, and Chris explained why. It's the national drink of Iceland, and has only been available in the United States for a few months, so my unfamiliarity with it was not surprising. Now that it is available, though, if you ever see it, I highly recommend that you check it out. It is fantastic. Chris, who very patiently explained all of the ingredients in the drink to us, poured us a shot of Brennivín to try, and its flavor was rather distinct. It is apparently flavored with carraway, but to me seemed to have a sort of anise flavoring. Very herbal and full-bodied and complex. Definitely worth a try.

Brennivín was not the only unusual ingredient in this. Punsch (which, yes, is different from punch) is also rarely consumed outside of Sweden, where it's the national drink, and so its flavor too was rather unfamiliar to me. And while I'd heard of Aquavit before, I'd never had before and I bet most of my readers haven't either. The only familiar ingredient here was the vodka, and even this was a special vodka. The brand, Reyka, is an Icelandic vodka which is made with glacier water and presumably made in a distillery powered by the dreams of a pixie child.

Iceland is weird.

Because of this, it's hard for me to talk about this drink. My unfamiliarity with the ingredients means I'm not really sure how they work together. And it's tough to truly describe this drink's taste because it was so distinct and unusual. But, I can tell you this: it tasted fantastic. Everything worked. It was not just a tasty drink, it was oddly fascinating to drink due to its originality. You could pick up on new flavors with each sip. It was amazing--and absolutely one of the most memorable drinks I've ever had

The Shovel Shark, in front of its ingredients, which Chris lined up on the bar for us. From left to right, the punsch, the aquavit, the brennivin, the charcoal, and the reyka vodka

 

Does It Live Up To The Name: Yes, yes, yes, a thousand times yes. Not only was the drink delicious, but it worked with the name really well. The shovel part was represented by the charcoal--you can just picture an old-timey train with a guy shoveling coal into a furnace. And Chris brought the "shark" part into the mix by an assortment of specifically Scandinavian liquors. He told us about how he spent some time in Iceland, and how he knows they eat shark there. In fact the national dish of Iceland is something called Hákarl, which is a shark that is fermented for five months and which smells strongly of rotten ammonia. It reportedly doesn't taste much better. Hey, Iceland is a weird place and they produce some really interesting products. Not all of them can taste as good as Brennivín.

At one point when Chris was preparing the dish Mara and I saw him peeling some lemon, but when the drink arrived it clearly wasn't there. However, as I sipped the drink, something exciting happened. I put the glass down and a little sliver of something was peeking out. Was it a lemon peel garnish? Or a shark fin!

It's a lemon peel.

Mara and I thought this was great--what a whimsical way to serve the Shovel Shark with a faux shark lurking underneath! It really felt like the lemon peel was swimming around in there, with its fin poking out. We told Chris we thought it was a nice touch. He seemed surprised--he hadn't even thought about how the lemon peel could be the fin at all! "So, is it not supposed to be a shark?" we asked. "Now it is," he replied, smiling. Chris was adorable.

It became clear as the drink finished that it was not really a shark, but it still looked cool.

Hearing Chris explain the drink--and how the flavors of Iceland represented the shark for him--was really exciting. When he visited Iceland, he absolutely fell in love with it, saying it was his favorite place in the world, and noted that Brennivín was one of his favorite things to drink. And that, to me, is why this drink succeeding so much. Not only did it taste good, and not only did it fit the name well, but it was clear that it was a rather personal drink for Chris. He had a lot of fun with it, and put his own personality into the cocktail. By using Brennivín, he was not only representing the shark in the drink, he was representing himself. When he put the charcoal in, it wasn't just to represent the shovel, it was because this was a technique that he has been wanting to use. Whenever people have asked me what the best drink I've ordered for this blog is, I always say it was a drink called My Only Jacket. When I got that drink it had struck me that my bartender had made me a drink that HE would want to drink. And that is really what set it apart for me and made the My Only Jacket such a great cocktail. And that's what I felt from Chris. He completely embraced the challenge and, as a result, this drink succeeded on every single level. In fact, I'll put it on the record now, this was my favorite cocktail for this blog to date. The My Only Jacket has been dethroned. The Shovel Shark reigns supreme.

Not only was the drink good, but it really was a fantastic experience in general going to Lot No. 3. ALL the drinks were good, not just the Shovel Shark. And the food was good. And Chris was a wonderful bartender, both in actual execution of the cocktails and in how engaging he was to those of us seated at the bar.. He took the time to attend to everyone, and talk in depth about their drinks (as evidenced by letting Mara and I have a shot of Brennivín to see what it tasted like). At the end of the meal, after we had ordered a delicious cinnamon jar cake, Chris put two shots of rum in front of us and said "It tastes even better with rum!"

And he was right...although this cake was pretty delicious on its own.

This blog is definitely New York based, since that's where I live. And the last time I ordered a drink out of state, it wasn't one of this blog's biggest successes. The Shovel Shark definitely turned that trend around

Mara, finishing her curried dark and stormy at Lot No. 3