Drink 49: The Epic Spell Wars Drinks (Part II)

The Name: Midnight Merlin's Inferno-Tastic Fountain of Youth

The Bar: The Half Pint (76 West 3rd Street, NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: You might be looking at this name thinking "What? What could that possibly mean?" Well, if you read about my last drink you can find out all about the insane and fun game Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards, and learn the secret formula for determining this drink's name.

Ordering The Drink: After drinking Dr. Rooty Bark's Mysterious Bedazzlement, Nick and I walked around a bit and found ourselves in Washington Square Park. We decided we wanted to use our special Epic Spell Wars drink-naming formula one more time, so we googled "Bars Near Washington Square Park" and saw great reviews for a place called The Half Pint. Putting our faith in the all-knowing hivemind of Yelp, we made our way there.

It became clear that The Half Pint's specialty is their really great and expansive beer menu. Beer lovers should definitely be sure to check it out. But they did have mixed drinks as well, so Nick and I decided to go ahead and order our weirdly-named drink as planned. We randomly selected the spell cards and ended up with Midnight Merlin's Inferno-Tastic Fountain of Youth.

Nick's fingers displaying the drink name fate had chosen for us.

I went up to the bar to order my drink. The bar was being tended to by a man named Brian. A gruff but fun and no-nonsense guy with what I think was an Irish accent (although it was a bit loud so I can't be 100% sure). I told Brian that I was hoping he could make me a cocktail based only on a name I would give him, and he seemed completely on board. But I think he might have regretted it as soon as I said the actual name.

Me: So, the drink will be called Midnight Merlin's Inferno-Tastic Fountain of Youth.
Brian: ...What the fuck?
Me: Sorry.
Brian: You want to run that by me again?

Brian clearly didn't know what he'd gotten himself into. I tried to reassure him that he could put whatever he wanted in it and I'd be happy. "You could just go 'fuck it' and make me a vodka cranberry if you wanted," I said. "No, I'm not going to do that," Brian assured me. He then asked if I had a preferred alcohol, and I said I didn't, but did say that the presence of the word "Inferno-Tastic" made me think that perhaps the drink would have Fireball in it. "Yeah," he agreed, "Definitely." It seemed like the wheels had started turning and Brian had gotten his idea. In not too long, Brian placed a drink in front of me.

The Drink:

Fireball
Cider
Amaretto

Assessment of Drink: I've gone to an assortment of bars for this blog. Some really specialize in cocktails. And some are just neighborhood places like The Half Pint is, which can put together a gin and tonic but those tending bar aren't exactly mixologists. In general, I'd say that, unsurprisingly, the former bars tend to outdo the latter (even though the neighborhood places have at times offered really creative drinks and shouldn't be underestimated). But, despite how simple the drink was--it's only three ingredients after all--I have to say that this was delicious, and hands down the best cocktail I've gotten for this blog at a bar of this variety. In fact, it tasted better than the drink I'd gotten earlier in the evening during part 1, at a bar that is far more cocktail-oriented. It shouldn't be a surprise that it tasted so delicious. Apple, almond, and cinnamon are all flavors that go well together, after all. And here, it was especially good, creating a drink that could simultaneously be sweet, tart, and spicy. It was like a mulled cider, but chilled and more refreshing. It tasted like grown-up apple juice.

I also love that cider was included. There are actually a lot of great cocktails out there that include beer or hard cider, but you don't see them too often, which is a shame. I've actually thought that beer would be a great addition for several of the drinks I've gotten here. I think that Brian's use of the cider was so smart. It added a great depth of flavor to this drink, and was unexpected and creative. And it played well with the fireball and amaretto. It wasn't just a cider with spice added to it--it was a legitimate cocktail in its own right. And a great one at that. Seriously, I would definitely order this again. I'm considering asking a bartender to give me cider with a shot of fireball and amaretto in the future. I want this drink again. And Nick did too, and he's not normally a fan of fireball.

Does It Live Up To The Name: Absolutely. Obviously, as Brian and I had discussed before the drink was made, Fireball automatically checks off the "Inferno-Tastic" part of the name. And I think that the Fountain of Youth part was present too. In my description of the drink, I said it tasted like "grown-up apple juice." And that apple juice flavor is definitely something that most people--myself included--relate with childhood. Despite the presence of alcohol, it was conceivable as a youthful drink.

If I had to scrutinize the name of this drink, the main criticism would be that the Midnight Merlin wasn't really present. That part of the name would certainly be tough to represent, but I think it could have been doable. I couldn't help but think of the pitch black drink I once got for this blog, which would have been amazing, although something tells me that The Half Pint doesn't typically have a supply of activated charcoal ready to go. I also thought that perhaps absinthe would be a good way to represent the Merlin part, as absinthe is often imbued with sort of magical attributes. But, even though I love absinthe, I don't think it would have improved the drink, so I'm really okay with it not being there.

Even though the "Midnight Merlin" wasn't really present, two out of three of the spell cards isn't a bad track record. Honestly, I think Brian nailed the sizable challenge of this drink's name. In the challenge of the Epic Cocktails of the Battle Mixologists, Brian at the Half Pint definitely comes out on top.

Drink 48: The Epic Spell Wars Drinks (Part I)

The Name: Dr. Rooty Bark's Mysterious Bedazzlement

The Bar: The Garret (296 Bleecker St., NYC, above the Five Guys)

The Story Behind The Name: Fans of this blog might remember my friend and former co-worker Nick, with whom I share a strange inside joke about all bowties actually being giraffes. If you find that confusing, feel free to read this post, but I can't guarantee it'll explain it. Well, one of Nick's great passions are board games and card games. While everyone's heard of the most famous games, like Monopoly or Sorry or Uno, there's a whole world of unusual and really fun games out there. And thanks to Nick, I've been lucky enough to play a lot of them. And my favorite game that Nick has introduced me to is hands down a card game called Epic Spell Wars of the Battle Wizards: Duel at Mount Skullzfyre. The gameplay is simple: everyone plays as a wizard and takes turns casting spells designed to defeat their opponent. You make these spells by using cards in your hand. It's a relatively simple game, but it's elevated by the amount of humor in the game. This game is hilarious. I mean, look at that name! The epic spell war apparently takes place on a place called Mount Skullzfyre. There's a wonderful amount of detail that goes into making this game entertaining. To start, the wizard characters that you play as are delightful. They're a great display of exaggerated badassery. Although, my favorite character, and the one I always play as, is the one that's by far the least badass: a leprechaun named Fey Ticklebottom the Enchanter, who flies around on a cloud that shoots rainbows.

Me, impersonating my favorite all-powerful wizard.

But the real meat of the game comes from casting spells, which are where this game's creators' creativity really comes to light. Each spell can include up to three cards--a beginning, a middle, and an end of a spell. The first card says the name of the spell's inventor. The second card is an adjective about the spell. And the third card is the "delivery" card, which is the type of spell it is. In each round, you cast spells with a variety of fun and wacky names.

This blog is, of course, all about fun and wacky names. So, Nick and I decided that we would do something similar to the drinks I got inspired by Clue Junior. We would take some spell cards from the game and randomly draw them right before we place our bar order, thus creating a cocktail that was guaranteed to have a bizarre and insane name.

Beforehand, we decided to narrow down our options and not leave things too up to chance. Some of the spell card words would simply be too disgusting for the drink. Essentially, we didn't want to basically dare the bartender to give us something gross. Or, even worse, something dangerous. If you order a drink that includes the word "Death Wish" and say the bartender can put whatever they want in it, you're basically asking for them to serve you a glass of bleach. We chose our four favorite cards of each variety and ended up with the following options:

Rose Bottom's/Professor Presto's/Dr. Rooty Bark's/Midnight Merlin's...

...Inferno-Tastic/Thundering/Mysterious/Delicious...

...Snakedance/Phantasmagoons/Bedazzlement/Fountain of Youth

So, for example, by randomly selecting cards, we might end up with a drink called Professor Presto's Delicious Snakedance. Which is also the name of a spell one might cast in the game. It's a really great game.

Ordering The Drink: Nick and I found our way to The Garret, a hidden bar that you can only get into by climbing some stairs in the back of a Five Guys. As we walked into the Five Guys, we looked around to find the secret entrance. The cashier, sensing that we were looking for something, cheerfully asked us, "Bathroom or Garret?" It was clear he had asked this question to a lot of people. Luckily, with the cashier's help, we found The Garret. It's a great place, which immediately has a cool vibe to it. And the fact that it's above what is one of the best places for fast, drunk food is brilliant. Nick and I couldn't figure out whether The Garret or the Five Guys had been in the space first, but whichever one moved into the space most recently had clearly made a brilliant business decision. The Garret is also, despite its secret nature, incredibly popular, and was already hopping even thought it was fairly early on a Wednesday.

A cool location isn't the only thing The Garret has going for it. They take cocktails very seriously and have a really unusual menu of house cocktails. My first drink of the night--called The First Lady--had a cool green color and was made with matcha green tea powder and basil. The bartender was also clearly having a great time, and putting on a bit of a show as he put the drinks together.

As Nick and I sipped our cocktails (Nick got a yummy Pisco Punch), we drew the cards to find out the drink I'd soon be ordering. And, the winner was...

Dr. Rooty's Bark's Mysterious Bedazzlement!

I approached the bartender, and he agreed to do it, although the complicated name definitely threw him a bit. But, especially considering the quality of our first drinks, I was ready for a drink that would be intriguing and bedazzling. And also probably made with root beer. My bartender didn't seem to be as optimistic. "It might be gross," he warned me. "That's okay. Like I said, I'll be happy no matter what," I told him. After not too long, he placed the drink in front of me. I asked if I could know the ingredients. He grinned, and simply said, "No."

The Drink:

???

???

???

???

Something red drizzled on top 

Assessment of Drink: It was pretty clear upon tasting the drink that there was no root beer. And I kind of respected that. Based on the name "Dr. Rooty Bark," both Nick and I thought that there would definitely be root beer. And while it's possible there simply wasn't anything root beer-flavored behind the bar, I admired that this bartender didn't go the easy way out. Instead, to convey Dr. Rooty Bark, he painstakingly spelled out the letters "Dr." on the top with some sort of red liquid.

The rest of the drink was difficult to place. It was fruity, but more sour than sweet. My first guess was that there might be something grapefruit-flavored in it. I also had a feeling there was egg white. The drink was very creamy, which often indicated egg white, and I knew that several drinks on the menu used this ingredient (including The First Lady which I'd already ordered). But beyond that, it was hard to place. And I had no idea what sort of alcohol was used. The drink tasted good, but I'll be honest, as I drank it I wasn't really thinking about the quality. I just wanted to know what was in it!

At the end of the night, I asked the bartender one more time if he would tell me the ingredients and he finally gave in.

Vodka

Egg White

Lemon

Passion Fruit

Bitters drizzled on top to spell "Dr"

This made sense. I was right about the egg white! And while my guess of "grapefruit" was wrong, the Passion Fruit explained the sour fruity flavor. And the fact that it was vodka made up for how hard it was to identify the base alcohol. It also explained my thoughts on the drink itself; those thoughts being, "It was fine." Really, the cocktail just wasn't that exciting or memorable, especially considering how innovative the rest of the cocktail menu was. But it was perfectly adequate, and quite well-made.

Does It Live Up To The Name: The most obvious way that this drink met the name was with the mystery part. I loved that the bartender wouldn't tell me the name, as it definitely made the drink a mysterious one. And the fact that the Passion Fruit was so difficult to identify certainly made it a good mystery--had it simple been lemon, it would have been a lot easier to identify. I also appreciated that he went the extra mile by actually writing "Dr" on the top of the drink.

But, I can't help but feel like more could have been done. The drink itself wasn't all that mysterious or bedazzling. Quite frankly, he could have made ANYTHING and his idea of not telling me the ingredients still would have worked. And also, while I did like the writing--and also have already mentioned that I appreciated him not immediately going for the root beer--in some ways, writing Dr on top was a bit of a cop out. The actual substance of the cocktail didn't ultimately have anything to do with the name--its success at living up to the name had to do with everything my bartender did EXCEPT the drink itself.

And that's kind of disappointing because this was a promising name. The word "Bedazzlement" is a great one. I remember when I ordered a cocktail called Honey Milked From the Teats of Zeus, and that bartender admitted that he simply wanted to make the most delicious drink he could. I kind of felt that way here. I think this was a chance for this highly capable bartender to wow me. Instead, the drink was good, but not great.

All that being said, I still really appreciate this bartender's efforts. And, like I said, the first drinks Nick and I got were fantastic. Even if they hadn't been, I would still have been a huge fan of The Garret. It's a great location, and it has the atmosphere to match its intriguing spot. I'll definitely be returning at some point in the future.

But, Nick and I weren't done just yet. We had cast one spell to get a creative drink, and we wanted to do one more before the night was over. So we headed over to a new bar and got a different drink. Read about it in Part II, coming soon!

Drink 40: The Birthday Shirt

The Name: The Birthday Shirt                                                                              

The Bar: The Tippler (425 West 15th St., NYC)

The Story Behind The Name: It was my birthday last week! Happy birthday to me! I'll pause while you sing in celebration of your favorite cocktail blogger becoming one year older!

December 4th is not just my birthday, it is also the anniversary of the only actively bad drink I've ever gotten for this blog. Regular readers will surely remember the debacle of The Brave Potato, a drink I ordered on my birthday two years ago and which left a bad taste in my mouth, both literally and figuratively. It was a disaster. It was such a disaster, in fact, that last year, I didn't even order a What's-That-Drink cocktail because I was worried I might have a similar experience. I also didn't order a drink because last year I celebrated at a bar called The Ginger Man, which has one of the best beer selections in the city, but is not exactly known for their mixed drinks. 

But this year, I decided that I had to order a birthday drink and hopefully the results would be better than two years prior.

But while I didn't order an unusual drink on my birthday last year, I did do something special at The Ginger Man: I wore a shirt. I know, you're thinking that most people wear shirts in polite society, but this wasn't just any shirt. It was a special shirt that I had never worn before. And it looks like this.

 

It might not look too weird on the clothes hanger, but this shirt is quite odd. The middle is white, but then the sleeves and collar and cuffs are not, so you look kind of like you're wearing a vest. And then the collar, cuffs, and right sleeve are all a purple checkered pattern, but the left arm is inexplicable robin's egg blue. On top of all that, there are the rather prominent black buttons which just add together to make the shirt perplexing. I had bought it because I liked how unusual it was. It's a well-made garment, but it really does look like someone made a terrible mistake while making this and accidentally put the wrong sleeve in. Or someone had started making a shirt and realized they didn't have enough white fabric, so they decided to use the purple check fabric for the rest of the shirt, but then realized they didn't have enough of THAT, so they just went, "fuck it" and made one sleeve blue because they had to finish this shirt because they were on a deadline. Maybe the shirt was put into a futuristic matter transporter with two other shirts and the atoms got jumbled out and the three shirts melded into one. No matter why this shirt was made, I like it. I like clothes that people are confused by when they look at you.

And other people liked it too! Almost everyone who came to my birthday last year said "I like that shirt," and we all theorized how this shirt had come into being. The person who seemed most enthusiastic about the shirt last year was my friend David, who recently joined me for The Psychic Squirrel a few months ago. On my birthday, we planned to meet at another time, and he told me that we could grab dinner only if I wore the same shirt. I don't think he was joking.

After my birthday, I went to put the shirt away and reflected on how well-received its first outing had been. "What a great shirt!" I thought to myself. I then proceeded to completely forget that it was in my closet and didn't wear it again.

Until last week. As I was going through my closet on my birthday last Friday, I happened to see the shirt and realized that I had to wear it again. And thus, a tradition is born. It is now officially my birthday shirt. And I, forever and always, will only wear it on my birthday. Or if someone invites me to a weird shirt party.

Ordering The Drink: One of my favorite places in New York City is Chelsea Market, a large indoor market and food hall located in, you guessed it, Chelsea. I've been there multiple times (it's one of my go-to places to take friends who are visiting the city), but I had not been to their underground bar, The Tippler. I'd heard great things about it, though, and I do love Chelsea Market, so I figured this would be the perfect place to celebrate my birthday. It was a great selection--The Tippler is a huge space, but also feels very cozy. By arriving early, I was lucky enough to nab a large wooden table right at the entrance to the bar, and as friends trickled in, I had several cocktails from off the menu and all were delicious. Plus, as you would expect from a bar located in a sprawling culinary market, the food was great. And some of the cocktails even contained ingredients that I knew I had seen in the various storefronts above--most notably a variety of unusual bitters. I immediately knew The Tippler was a great choice for a birthday celebration, and was excited to play What's That Drink there.

I will confess that I initially was going to order a drink with a different name entirely, but as had happened the year before, my shirt had once again become a topic of conversation. Most interestingly, David--my friend who had been the most intrigued by the shirt last year--not only didn't remember the shirt at all, but seemed to actively dislike it this time around. "I wore this shirt just for you!" I told him. "I really wish you hadn't," he replied.

Given that the birthday shirt was now officially a tradition, my friend Morgan suggested that I order a drink called The Birthday Shirt. I agreed that that was a good idea. Morgan was incredibly pleased with himself, and told everybody multiple times how he was the one who came up with the name. I'm letting you know this because I always believe that credit should be given where credit is due. So, thank you Morgan. I hope you appreciate this acknowledgment.

The server--who was fantastic and was attentive all night even though the bar was very busy-- came to our table and I explained the weird drink order. Our server seemed to love the idea, although she did express some slight concern about explaining it to the bartenders. She seemed to think they might feel like I was trying to test them, but I assured her that there was not a specific drink I was looking for and that anything they put in the drink I'd be happy with. "Maybe give me a hint about what type of spirit you want?" she suggested. But I refused and told her I wanted their interpretation of The Birthday Shirt without any input from me. Given her apprehension, I repeated that if they didn't want to do it, she could let me know and I'd totally understand. But she smiled mischievously and said, "Oh no, I'll definitely find someone who'll do it," and walked off.

In a bit she came back holding both a drink and a shot in her hand.

The Drink:
"Is this The Birthday Shirt?!" I asked when she'd returned.

"Well...not exactly." she put the drinks on the table. The shot was topped with whipped cream and rainbow sprinkles, which certainly seemed festive. "This is a birthday shot," she explained. "And the bartender said that maybe someone with a speech impediment would call it a birthday shirt." I asked her what was in the shot, and she pointed it out on the menu: lemon vodka, frangelico, and Bailey's, topped of course with whipped cream and sprinkles. Our server rolled her eyes as she relayed the bartender's explanation. It was clear that she thought they had copped out quite a bit and wished that she was bringing me something more fun, unusual, and off-the menu.

"But, on top of the birthday shot, we're also bringing you our old fashioned with muddled cherries. On the house. Hope that's okay." I assured her that a free old fashioned was always welcome and thanked her. Then, I took the shot.

Me wearing the birthday shirt, while holding the birthday shot. The old fashioned is on the table, and my friend Alex is in the background completely undermining my attempts to look dignified and wise beyond my years.

Assessment of Drink: Not much to complain about flavorwise. The crew at The Tippler knows what they're doing, and both the birthday shot and the old fashioned were excellent. Birthday cake shots are actually fairly common, but this one was well-balanced and not as overly sweet as birthday cake shots tend to be. And the old fashioned was really great. A poorly made old fashioned tends to just be watered-down whiskey, but when you have a good old fashioned you realize that the process that goes behind making this drink well really does elevate it. In this instance, they had the brilliant idea to muddle cherries along with the sugar and bitters. Rather than just getting the customary maraschino cherry garnish, there was a nice undertone of cherry throughout which didn't dominate the flavor profile but also added a nice tartness. It was very well-crafted.

When they were placed on the table, the idea was clearly that these were two separate entities. One shot, and one drink. But since they were both served in response to my order, I decided to think about how they worked as a pairing. I wondered if doing the shot right before might have had any effect on the old fashioned. Maybe it would bring out some natural sweetness of the cocktail? But...yeah it really didn't. There's no cohesion between the shot and the drink. So, my attempts to justify the two as a pairing didn't really work, and they remained separate entities in my mind. But the were delicious entities at the very least.

Does It Live Up To The Name: I guess there is some cleverness is going "Birthday Shirt sounds like Birthday Shot," although the specificity of bringing speech impediments into the equation seemed unnecessary and lightly mean-spirited. But, still, it was a little disappointing to receive two things directly off the menu. The challenge really wasn't met. And so, as far as What's That Drink is concerned, I've now struck out twice on my birthday.

But, from a non-blogging standpoint, it was still a great order. The birthday shot was fun (in fact, later in the evening, I did another round of birthday shots with my friend Nick). And it's hard to be too disappointed in a bar's service when they give you a free drink--especially one as excellent as that old fashioned. So, much like the birthday shirt itself, it's hard to know what to make of the Birthday Shirt What's That Drink experience. I may not have left with a never-before-crafted custom cocktail, but I had a great time with some great friends at a great bar. While wearing a great shirt.