The Name: The
Evil Rapping Clown
The Bar: Bar9 (807 9th Ave, NYC)
The Story
Behind The Name: You may remember my friend Kenny from the first post, when
he showed up and started making balloon animals. Well, the reason he happened
to have balloons to turn into animals is because of his profession. Kenny is a
clown, performing at birthday parties and other such events. And there are very
few other times I can think of where a person’s profession and personality
meshed so perfectly. Kenny is a perfect clown. He’s entertaining, hilarious,
and hardworking.
But this is not the first time Kenny has been a
clown. In college, I had the privilege of directing Kenny in a show entitled Stephen King High School: The Musical by
Jamie King and Sam Rosenberg. The main antagonist in this musical is
Dollarwise, an evil rapping clown inspired by Pennywise from Stephen King’s It.
Kenny was appropriately terrifying. As any evil
rapping clown should be.
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| The evil rapping clown in its natural habitat. |
Ordering
The Drink: It happened to be Kenny’s birthday, so this drink seemed like
the obvious choice. I ordered directly from the bartender, who seemed really hesitant
at first. To the point that I didn’t think she would make the drink. She was
especially confused by the part where she could put anything that she wanted in
it.
“Even if it tastes bad? Someone once made me a
drink that was Budweiser, tomato juice, and lemon schnapps.”
I told her that I definitely did not want that. No
one would ever want that. Why would a person want that?
Perhaps because it was Kenny’s birthday, and
perhaps because her fellow bartender was urging her on, she agreed to do it,
and the three of us brainstormed what would be in the Evil Rapping Clown. The
other bartender said that there had to be a cherry in it to represent the
clown’s red nose. I saw a bottle of Fireball cinnamon whiskey and suggested
that it might be a good choice to represent the evil. After a few minutes, our
brave bartender said she thought she had an idea and began to craft the drink.
This was very involved. I could see that the drink itself had many layers of color
which she was stacking on top of each other, and then there was the most involved
garnish I’ve ever seen. At first, she appeared to be making a crucifix out of
bar straws, with a cherry in the middle and olives on either end, but she
scrapped this. And then scrapped a couple other ideas. I had no idea what this
garnish was supposed to be, but she was determined to get it right.
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| The bartender works on the second draft of the garnish. |
The Drink:
[Each ingredient is layered—not mixed together]
Grenadine
Ginger Ale
Blue Curacao
Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey
Three lime slices and a maraschino cherry for
garnish
Assessment
of Drink: The layering was very cool, and added to the overall enjoyment of
the drink. The grenadine, ginger ale, and blue curacao are all very sweet—so
when you first drink it, you get a blast of sweet, which is then nicely cut by
the spiciness of the fireball. It’s very odd, but pleasing—almost like a spicy
fruit punch. This drink would absolutely not work without the fireball there to
undercut the sweet—it was still a sweet drink as is. But if you don’t mind
that, then I’d certainly recommend it. I must say that I’m a fan of Blue
Curacao. If you’re unfamiliar with it, it’s a bright blue liquor—think of blue
powerade—but it doesn’t taste as blue as it looks, which is very fortunate. And
for those of you who claim that blue is not a flavor, it totally is. It shouldn’t
be, but it totally is. When I say “blue” then you all know exactly what flavor
I’m referring to. It tastes of artificial raspberries and chemicals. But, I
digress—blue curacao does not taste like this. I used it recently to make a
drink for an Arrested Development party (the drink was called the I Just Blue
Myself) and it has a really intriguing, citrusy taste.
A few people tasted the Evil Rapping Clown, and
though all seemed to have positive reactions, it is fitting that the person who
liked it the most was Kenny himself.
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| An evil rapping clown holding an Evil Rapping Clown. |
Does It
Live Up To The Name: It absolutely lives up to the name. The evil comes
through in the spiciness—peeking through the sweetness, which in turn
represents the fun and harmless clown exterior. Unfortunately, I was unable to
get a picture which adequately showed the distinct blue and red stripe in the
drink. In the picture below, you can kind of see that the red grenadine is all at the
bottom. But, in person, the colors were very neat, and brought to mind a colorful
circus. So, automatically, the drink did a good job personifying
(or…drinkifying?) an evil clown.
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| Pictured: Miles failing at taking good pictures. |
But even if the drink had consisted of something
else entirely (like, Budweiser, tomato juice, and lemon schnapps…except please
not that) the garnish which the bartender labored over would have made this
drink successful. She painstakingly constructed an evil clown face. Following
her fellow bartender’s suggestion, she used the maraschino cherry to make the
nose, and settled on using the lime slices to make two eyes and a smile. The
result is scary.
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| I'll see you in your dreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeams! |
Like, really scary.
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| We ALL float down here! |
This is the garnish of nightmares.
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| And when you're down here with me, YOU'LL FLOAT TOO! |
Our bartender was very pleased with her
efforts—she took a picture herself before letting me take the drink to the
table.
The only way this drink didn’t live up to the name
is that there was nothing to signify that this is an evil rapping clown specifically. But, honestly, I don’t know how one
would have done that, so I let it slide—and the garnish was so perfect.
And so terrifying. Those limes follow you no matter where you're standing in the room.
On a side note, I was pleased that, for the second
time out of two attempts, the bartender ultimately seemed to really enjoy the
experiment, and the challenge of crafting the drink. Our bartender was
certainly pleased with her final product, and was thrilled that the birthday
clown had enjoyed his evil clown drink.
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| Happy birthday...you scary fucking clown |
